Shisiedo
by Heart Inside of Me
Summary: Sookie chooses to break her bond with Eric and rebuild her life, but can she run from Eric's love and protection. Charlaine Harris own Sookie, Eric, et al. Rated M for language, violence, and lemons.
1. Chapter 1

Eric snuggled up close to me under the blanket. His cold, hard body caused shivers to run up from my toes. Of course, the shivers did not come from the coldness of his body.

"Good evening, Lover," he whispered. His breath tickled my neck and sent a second set of shivers running down to my toes this time.

"Well, if I have to wake up at two in the morning, I can't think of a better way to do it," I replied as I rolled over to bury my face in his chest.

I remember a time when waking up to Eric crawling into bed with me was a bad idea, but right at that moment I realized I was a complete idiot. I missed Amelia, but having this time with Eric was certainly a perk to losing a friend.

"You smell like sunshine. I wonder how you'll taste." Eric didn't give me a chance to welcome the thought before he was kissing and tasting every inch of me.

"I never thought I'd say I miss the sun," Eric said as he was kissing me goodbye.

"You could stay in the hidey hole. I don't have anything planned, I'll stand guard over you." After three blissful hours, surely his ego could stand a little goading.

Eric looked down at me and smiled, "Lover, if I didn't have de Castro to entertain, I wouldn't leave your bed until the very break of dawn."

"How long is he staying?"

"A week. The bond between us is strong enough that he will not approach you in any manner without my permission. You'll have nothing to concern yourself over." He sat on the edge of the bed to pull on his shoes.

"I wasn't really worried about him anyway. I've grown a little used to our nights, I'm just a little jealous over time lost."

"I know. I just like hearing you say it. De Castro may want to speak with you. Please do not pick this week to give me grief, come when I call."

"I think I like the sound of you begging."

"Woman, I will make you beg," he rolled the words out over his tongue in the sexiest growl I had ever heard.

"Oh, you don't need me to boost that side of your ego at all. Get out, come back in a week."

Eric was all smile and tooth, and to think there was a time when that icked me out. With another quick kiss on the forehead and a warring against his will not to take me yet again, he pushed open the window and took off into the night.

I sat up and listened for Bill, knowing he wouldn't come until Eric was safely away. Bill didn't keep me waiting for long. He stuck his head through the window with a quick whispered warning.

"I've brought the vial for you. I don't agree with this, Sookie. What if you need one of us?" Bill actually showed a shadow of emotion on his face.

"Oh, so now you like that I'm bonded to Eric?"

"No, but I would like one of us to have at least a tie to you. So many things have happened to you, Sookie. On this Eric and I agree, you should be protected. If you will not allow me to protect you, I would be grateful if you'd allow Eric."

"I need to feel completely human for awhile. If you hadn't pulled me into all this crap, I wouldn't need all this protection. I want out. So, are you going to be a gentleman and put the vial down on the dresser and leave?"

"Please, don't be so proud as to ever ask for Eric's protection. He is going to be absolutely furious with you, but he will protect you, if you need." Bill paused, laid the vial on the floor, and pulled his head out the window. His voice drifted in on the wind, "As will I."

The blank spot of his mind was gone, but I still grabbed my robe from beside my bed before I stood up. I gathered up the vial and the fitted sheet off of my bed and went into the kitchen to wait for the dawn and the witches.

* * *

A short one to start off with, but angst on the way, which means a longer chapter. Here are the lyrics to Shisiedo by The Katies. I highly suggest listening to this song- heck it's worth the 99 cents from i-tunes. Please note - this should be thought of from Eric's perspective to the events that will transpire over the course of this story.

I'm tired of waiting  
you said you'd be back soon but that was late last june.  
I'm spinning in your moon  
But I'm getting tired of you and what you do  
To my head when I loose you.  
So I spill a little  
like penny bottle wax,  
are you coming back  
And is it grace like that?  
What am I to do  
when I'm way too much for you,  
When you're all I need but not enough for me.

Shisiedo, don't think so,  
You're trying, I'm lying  
You let go and bend close  
You're so pretty when you're smiling

It's all too simple  
To make sense for me  
So I play like tragedy  
And pine for your sympathy  
I guess it's leaving me  
What am I to be  
When you wouldn't stay  
And I couldn't say  
You look like Jesus,  
And you talk like Jesus  
And you dress like Jesus  
So you must be Jesus  
And that's what I can't stay  
Cause that's the only thing  
That makes me feel this way so lost in outer space.

Shisiedo, don't think so,  
You're trying, I'm lying  
You let go and bend close  
You're so pretty when you're smiling

And I know you won't go  
And kick start all my crying  
You let go and bend close  
You're so pretty when I'm dying.

I've lost my senses  
I should have never said this  
With me and Jesus dying  
You're so pretty when you're not trying

And I know you won't go  
And kick start all my crying  
You let go and bend close  
You're so pretty when you're smiling

Shisiedo, don't think so,  
You're trying, I'm lying  
You let go and bend close  
You're so pretty when you're smiling  
And I know you won't go  
And kick start all my crying  
You let go and bend close  
You're so pretty when I'm dying.


	2. Chapter 2

**"But I'm getting tired of you and what you do**  
**To my head when I loose you."**

Amelia had moved out a month ago, shortly after Tray died. When she and Octavia pulled up, she was all smiles and hugs. Her thoughts quickly turned to concern for what we were about to try.

"Amelia, I got to say, I'm used to you being over confident in your skills as a witch," I tried to sound chipper, but my voice sounded dry. Amelia's face dropped as she allowed herself to show what she was feeling.

Octavia was nervous as well, "Sookie, we were able to gather or make all the proper ingredients, but even with everything perfect, this still may not work."

"I would like to at least try," I replied.

Octavia nodded, "Do you have the blood of every vampire you wish to severe yourself from," she sounded oddly formal.

"The vial is Bill's blood. The sheet has a few drops of Eric's blood on it. Amelia said that you could use it like that."

"Yes, in theory. All of this is only theory. Remember, if this does work, it may not go well for you." She waited for me to nod and then turned, "Amelia, get started on drawing the blood from the sheet. Sookie, please heat the stove and put on a stock pot for me. I'm going to draw the circle in your living room."

Several complicated ingredients later, the potion that I would have to drink was ready. I laid down naked, yes completely naked, in the circle as Octavia instructed. Octavia sat at my head, Amelia sat at my feet. They began chanting something that sounded like Latin. Amelia took up a knife very similar to the one that wedded me to Eric and gently cut my left inner thigh, right where the latest fang marks were located, Eric's favorite spot. Amelia dripped the blood off the knife into the potion. Still chanting, she handed me the cup and gestured for me to sit up and drink.

It was the nastiness tasting stuff I have ever had to drink. It was warm, thick, and smelled of something rotten. I gagged several times but finally managed to drain the cup. I laid back down and Octavia and Amelia finished their chant. I heard Amelia whisper something quick under her breath that sound a lot like a prayer.

I laid there and waited. I could feel the potion's magic slowly filling me. The only word I can think of to describe the feeling is blue. It felt like the color blue was slowly filling my arms, legs, fingers, toes, hair. When the spread of magic stopped, I sat up.

Amelia helped me on with my robe and Octavia began cleaning the chalk line.

Amelia reminded me of the finer details that I would have to endure. "The magic will slowly fade throughout the day. It should be completely gone by sundown and if the magic took, you'll be free of any connection between Bill and Eric. Sookie, none of those success stories we heard told us what you can expect, only that it might not be pleasant. Do you want us to stay with you?"

"What could possibly happen that you could fix?"

"It's not so much that we could fix it . . ." she trailed off but I heard it in her head and said it for her.

"You'd do a stasis spell to keep me until Eric arrived to either heal me or turn me." I plopped onto the couch. "I don't think I'm ready for that decision. And I most definitely don't want it made for me. Go ahead and go, I'll call you in the morning."

I had offered for them to stay the night, but neither woman wanted to be in town, anywhere near town, when (hopefully when, because that would mean the magic worked) Eric arrived. I waved them goodbye and stood alone in the living room. The magic that flowed through my veins gave me a restless energy, so I pulled on some sweats, turned the radio up as loud as it would go, and cleaned the house.

Working all the way to lunch, I managed to: move around furniture, sweep, mop, dust, do the curtains, dust picture frames, wash the windows, wash the blankets from both downstairs beds, scrub the bathroom top to bottom, and clean out the refrigerator. I couldn't stop moving and I didn't want to. But at lunch, the world stopped.

The plug was pulled and all the magic simply drained right out of my system.

I sunk to my knees in the middle of the kitchen, plate with crumbs still in hand. I was empty. I felt worse than I had when I found Gran dead. I felt nothing but a deep chasm of grief and I was being sucked down into it. Putting my dishes in the sink, I slunk off to flop onto the couch, pulled the afghan from off the back and draped it around myself. The tears came as quickly as the magic had left. These weren't the silent, once a minute tears, no. These were the wailing, sniffling, can't see, going-to-have-a-headache, puffy-red-eye-inducing tears.

This is what is was like to lose your soulmate to death. My body shook with each sob as I not so silently prayed to God to take the emptiness away. After about an hour the phone rang. I ignored it and the answering machine clicked on.

"Sookie, this is Sam. Amelia and Octavia asked me to call and check on you. If you don't pick up I'm going to come over there." He waited until the answering machine cut him off.

I didn't move. I didn't care if Sam came over. I was more worried about when Eric showed up. Would he feel this emptiness? Would I be able to stop him from reforming the bond? Would I want to stop him? I began to cry all over again. I put myself in this situation, I was going to have to get myself out of it. I sat up and made myself walk over to the phone. I called Merlott's.

"Merlott's," answered Sam's voice.

"Sam, I'm fine. I couldn't make it to the phone. But, I'm fine, really."

"Amelia and Octavia told me what you did. Sookie, breaking that kind of magic is going to be really hard. Do you want me to come over? Until nightfall?" Even Sam didn't want to be around when (because he most certainly was going to show up) Eric stormed through my door.

"Thank-you Sam." I had to stop myself from crying again. "It hurts right now. It feels like somebody's died." I slid down to the floor and just started talking. "At first it was great, now not so much. I feel like I'm being pulled down into this deep, black hole. And that hole is inside of me. I feel empty, like I'm just the shell of Sookie. How long could this last? What if I ask him to reform the bond with me? What if he won't do it?" I choked back a sob, but it was a loud noise.

"You need to do what's best for you." He sounded uncomfortable. "Other than being pulled into all that vampire political B.S., was it really that bad being bonded to him?"

"No."

"Did he force you into it?"

"No, but I never really had a choice."

"Do you feel like you have a choice now?"

"No. Yes. I don't know."

"Look, you know what Gran said about lying in your own bed? Well, I think you may have laid in it a little too long. Now you just have to get up and fix this. Either beg forgiveness and reform the bond, or come in to work tonight and distract yourself."

"Thanks. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Well whatever you decide, it's your choice this time."

"Thanks. Bye." I stood up and dropped the phone on the receiver as Sam muttered his goodbye.

I trudged back to the living room and put on a movie. I couldn't tell you what it was, I didn't really watch it. My eyes floated from staring blankly at the moving pictures to staring blankly at the deepening blue outside my windows. Just as I thought the sun might have set, my phone in the kitchen rang in unison with my cell phone on the table by the door. The cell phone ID gave Pam's number, so I assumed the house phone was Eric. I took a deep breath and picked up the receiver.

"Hi." I couldn't get anything else out. My throat squeezed shut and tears threatened to spill over.

"What has happened." Eric wasn't screaming and crying. He was calmly issuing orders phrased like a question. I wondered if he had listeners.

"Nothing. I'm fine," I couldn't keep the tears out of my voice.

"You are alive," Eric qualified. "I hear your cell phone. Answer it."

"What?" Why would I need to talk to Pam?

"Answer your cell phone. I will wait."

"Okay." It was still Pam. "Hey, Pam."

"Idiot human woman. Are you at home?" Pam had never yelled at me before, I could feel the tears welling up again.

"Mmm-hmm."

"Stay there. I will be there in less than an hour. Do you understand?"

"Mmm-hmm." I still couldn't trust my voice. It didn't soften Pam at all. There was a silence that signaled the end of our conversation.

"Have you finished your call?" Eric was being dangerously sarcastic. "Pam is taking care of one issue for me. When I hear back from her, I will deal with this."

"I understand." I tripped over the words and had to repeat myself. "This" translated to: don't go anywhere, tell Pam everything, and when she tells me what the hell happened, I'm going to break free of de Castro and deal with me and you the way a vampire should. Yup, I understood all right. I wiped my nose and tried to speak, say something to tell him how sorry I was, but he hung up the phone.

"I love you." I spoke to the dead phone.

And I did. I loved Eric. I had recently made love with him, even the magic couldn't take away the bite marks. I told him I was jealous of our time away from one another. I broke our bond without consulting him. I had done it behind his back. I had betrayed him as surely as if I had decided to take another man into my bed. And I began to cry again. This time tears of self-loathing and remorse for my choice. Why didn't I think of it that way before I had done this? Because I wasn't thinking about it, I couldn't think about it - knowing I would chicken out and not do it. I shouldn't have done it.

* * *

**Show of hands: who thinks Sookie's a totally selfish, idiot and wishes she would stop messing with Eric's head? Thanks for the reviews - Happy Reading!**


	3. You Let Go and Bend Close

Pam didn't bother knocking when she arrived. She was suddenly in my face, fangs full out, and looking scarier than I had ever thought possible. "Explain," she hissed.

Still in my sweats, smelling of cleaning products, I dropped my head into her lap and cried. She had not been expecting that, she tensed briefly before she softly touched my back and started rubbing her hand up and down my spine, making a soft shushing noise.

"Sookie, what have you done?" She spoke softer.

"I broke the bond with magic." I sobbed out every detail. I wailed my remorse.

"Oh, Sookie. Why? Why would you even attempt to do something like this. Why would you even think of trying to take away something that made you happy, that made Eric happy? Why must you always fight against him? Do you have any idea how terrified he was when we woke up this evening?"

Pam pulled me into a sitting position and then cozied up next to me. One of her arms wrapped around my shoulders pulling my head to her neck. Her free hand stroked my face and hair. I had always considered Pam as close to a friend as one could expect from a vampire, but I never, ever thought I would one day be crying on her shoulder.

"Pam, do you really like me, or do you fake it for Eric's sake?" I asked.

Pam laughed silently. "Sookie, if I said I liked you as far as humans go, I would be lying. If Eric ever decided to part ways with you, I would take you on as my human companion. Don't tense, Sookie. While I'm sure you are a delicious treat, I could never ask you to do something that would make you uncomfortable. Well, not anything that wasn't absolutely necessary."

"Thank-you. So, would you ever kill me?"

There was a tension in Pam's silence. "The only one who can truly command me to kill you is Eric. So, I don't think you have anything to worry about."

"That wasn't exactly an answer, Pam."

"It's the only answer I can give."

"What's Eric going to do to me?"

"He's relieved that you are alive. But, he never enjoys being out of control of something. Since he parted with his maker, he has been control of his life. You are the first thing in several hundred years he has not been able to manipulate or flat out control. You are both a property of his as well as an owner of him. He can admit his feelings for you to me, but he still denies what everyone else knows. He loves you. He adores you. Any other goopy romantic stuff you humans like."

"That wasn't exactly an answer, Pam."

Pam smiled. "It's the only answer I can give. In all honesty, Sookie, I can't tell you what he's going to do, because I don't think he knows what he's going to do. But, I can pretty much guarantee something dramatic. Something, Eric." She gently pushed me off of her. "I'm going to call him now to explain. Stop leaking, and go take a shower."

While Pam walked out onto the front porch, I forced myself off of the couch. The shower felt good against my skin, but it couldn't reach that empty part of me. Pam gently knocked on the bathroom once to inform me she laid out some clothes on my bed. It was one of the most depressing showers of my life, the most amazing shower being the first one I took with Eric.

As the water fell over my face I tried to think of reasons not to be with Eric. He lived so far away, when we did get to see each other it mostly sex (great sex), if it wasn't sex it was business. He did his best to protect me, but never went out of his way to take me out on a date. He tried to control my life, but I had willfully disobeyed him too many times to count. He could have at any moment threatened me or a loved one to get me to comply, but he never did. He could have killed me and ended his giant headache, but even when he said the thought aloud he had never hurt me.

I got out of the shower feeling empty and absolutely certain that logic was not going to help me. All the logic in the world couldn't make me stop loving him. I walked into my bedroom and saw the most beautiful nightgown laid across my bed. It was silk, pale silver, ankle length, with thin straps. It had a matching house robe and matching panties. I dropped the gown over my head and was not at all surprised that if fit perfectly. I pulled on the house robe, grabbed my brush, and went to join Pam on the sofa.

"Thank-you for this. It's beautiful." I began to brush my hair, ignoring whatever Pam had turned on.

"You're welcome, Sookie. It looks very nice on you." Pam had helped herself to the True Blood from my fridge. I didn't even feel a pang of being a lousy hostess. Pam was at home here as she was in Fangtasia.

After the movie or show ended, Pam turned off the tv and looked at me. She didn't say anything, she just simply looked at me and slipped into down time. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend that she wasn't staring at me vacantly. I finally couldn't stand it any longer and got up to go to the kitchen. I hadn't originally thought of eating, but once in the kitchen I realized that I hadn't eaten since lunch. Since I first started feel so darn depressed.

Absolutely nothing looked appetizing. The pantry held all of my canned goods and boxes of dehydrated foods. The refrigerator held food just waiting to spoil. There was nothing that would actually feed me. What I needed, okay what I wanted, was triple chocolate chunk ice-cream and I was fresh out. Well, someone was just going to have to go to the store.

"Hey Pam." I watched her slowly thaw. I didn't believe for a second that some part of her wasn't absolutely aware of me, but even vampires have to rest occasionally right? "I'm going to run to the store for some ice-cream, want to ride with me?"

Pam smiled, "You mean, does Eric require me to follow your every move until he arrives? Yes. I would like to ride with you." She checked the clock. "I have a better idea though. Send Bill. He is very low on Eric's good list right about now, so Bill had best start earning his keep through you."

"What do you mean, "earn his keep?"" I asked.

"Sookie, Bill helped you remove the one thing that absolutely assured that no one could take you from him. Eric's bond, both the blood and the knife, marked you as Eric's and only Eric's. You were his bonded mate. No one can come between a vampire and his mate. No one." She laid a heavy stress on that last part. "Now, if anyone even dares suspect the bond is broken, de Castro for example, you are fair game. A king could simply come into your home, or have it broken into, and have you snatched away. You would be no more than a slave. You would live in fear for your life, or the life of someone you cared about, doing whatever that king wanted you to do. And believe me when I say, that your psychic talent wouldn't be the only talent in which he would be interested. Eric is extremely unhappy with Bill. Eric wouldn't mind slowly disemboweling Bill. Eric -" It wasn't so much as what she was saying, as the look of intense pleasure while she was saying those things that made me cut her off.

"That's quite enough Pam, thanks. Will Eric do any of those things?"

"No. Not unless Bill is stupid enough to enter Eric's presence. Then, yes," she spoke dryly and shrugged a single shoulder.

"But it was my choice."

"No, not as you explained it. Did I misunderstand? If you had only Eric's blood, then only that bond would have been broken, yes?"

"Yes."

"Good. Then I have not misunderstood you. Bill provided you with a means to severe yourself completely from us, from Eric. Bill willingly chose to aid you in your deception. It was his choice, Sookie. Now, if you want this ice-cream, ask Bill to go. He is no longer Area Investigator. The Sheriff has sent word to everyone is this area, Bill is allowed to live here, but he is no longer welcome as a guest to anyone in this area."

"I thought that Bill's job was appointed by a king or queen?"

"And conveniently the king is here with the Sheriff."

Well, I was pretty sure I didn't want to know what Eric had made up to get Bill fired. "Fine, I'll call Bill." I dialed Bill's cell. "Hey Bill. I heard about your demotion, I'm sorry."

"Sookie, how are you? I'm glad it worked, but are you well?" Bill was still playing the hopeful suitor.

"Stop it. I'm sorry I got you fired, I'm sorry I got you into so much trouble with Eric."

"Sookie. I knew that if it worked, Eric was going to be angry with me. I took my chances, and if means being no more than a gopher for the next thousand years, I'm happy."

"Well, good, because I need to go to the store for some ice-cream, and Pam tells me that it's not the best idea for me to be leaving the house just now." I paused and looked at the hard look on Pam's face. "Would you mind?"

Bill was silent for a full minute and then in a strained voice asked, "Did Pam give a particular reason for you not to leave your home?"

"Outside of it being a generally bad idea for me to walk around now that I'm no longer Eric's property, no." I tried not to sound bitter and weepy but I failed.

"Sookie -"

"Bill, please get me some triple chunky chocolate. Just a pint is all I need, the name doesn't matter. Thank-you."

"Goodbye Sookie." His formal tone made me feel even worse.

How long would this feeling of grief last? I thought it would be liberating being free from Eric, and now I was grieving the death of a person who was one of the living dead, who I had made love to but a few hours ago.

Pam had returned to staring at me, but this time she was scrutinizing my hair.

"I think your hair should be up off of your face. Something loose, but swept back to expose that beautiful face of yours."

"I'll put it in a ponytail."

"No, not with that nightgown. Sit on the floor in front of me." From out of her purse, Pam produced a comb, some cloth rubber bands, and a number of bobby pins. Pam being prepared to look just so didn't surprise me, but her desire to fix my hair most certainly did. I just stood staring at her. "Sit, Sookie."

Pam worked quickly and gently, pulling my hair into a loose but intricate braid that sat low on my neck. She completed her task and looked proud of herself.

"Thank-you."

"You're welcome Sookie. Once you've stopped crying and the splattering of red is gone, you'll be perfect."

"Thank-you Pam." I all but stuck my tongue at her.

Pam sat up and listened for a moment with a hard look in her eyes that quickly softened. "Bill has brought your ice-cream. He is at the door with it. Answering your door is permitted." She threw me a smirk.

I opened the door, but Bill was no longer at the door step. He was standing in the yard. I opened my mouth to invite him in, but he stopped me with a wave of his hand.

"Sookie, I hope you enjoy your ice-cream. If you require anything else of me, do not hesitate to call. Good evening." He turned around and then disappeared as he walked back into the woods at vamprie speed.

I picked up my ice-cream, it was a good brand, grabbed a spoon from the kitchen and sat down on the couch, with my legs tucked up underneath me. Pam retrieved a book from her bag and began reading, her position mirrored mine. I stared into my ice-cream and thought of Eric. I thought of all times I had spent with Eric, the good and the bad. I was surprised at how much I missed him. I was not surprised that the emptiness was not filled with ice-cream.

* * *

**"I lost my senses, I should have never said this."**

Just after midnight Pam put her book down and gave me a brief but thorough once over, nodded, and then stood up and walked to the door. Eric filled the doorway. Pam inclined her head to him and then turned to me and gave me the same incline and then turned to walk out the door.

Eric walked slowly into the living room. If a vampire can look tired and old after centuries being the same age, Eric managed to look it. His ice blue eyes locked onto mine. His eyes hardened.

"Leave us." He spoke only slightly louder than a normal tone, so I knew he was speaking to anyone with an above average hearing range. He remained a statue for a solid minute and then quickly closed the small gap between us and dropped to the floor.

While he had been simply stood there, the emptiness slowly filled, but as he took me fully into his arms, I fell apart. I pulled Eric tightly to me and begged forgiveness. Tears fell on his neck and shirt. The hollow feeling was erased, I was whole, I was complete in his arms. Logic would never have been able o get me to this point. Holding him tighter to me and managed to whisper, "I love you."

Eric pulled back and took my face in both of his hands. He was sad, angry, hurt, confused, he was so un-Eric, so vulnerable. He was the amnesiac Eric. He was not hiding his feelings. His eyes blazed as he replied, "Oh, my lover." And then he kissed me.

All the kisses we had ever shared was nothing compared to that kiss. It was a kiss of the purest passion and love. He put only the gentlest pressure on my mouth, but held my body tightly to his. He pulled back and looked at my face, literally every part of my face. He looked at my mouth, my nose, my forehead, my cheeks, even my chin. I swear he was memorizing every pore. I, in turn, was doing the same exact thing.

Had it really only been a day since I'd seen him last? Less than that since I had committed the most stupid mistake of my life? I was not going to let him leave tonight without sharing blood with him. Could I even let him leave?

"Will you stay with me tonight, lover?" I tried out his favorite term of endearment and found the word was a perfect fit; no wonder he used it for me so often.

He gave me a slow, sad smile, and a single tear of blood formed in his left eye. "We can no longer share blood, Sookie. There is no set number of times a human can have vampire blood without being turned."

"Will you not make love to me without taking my blood?"

"Of course, I will. I had to let you know not to bite me. And, I will not take from you, if you wish, since it will not be an even exchange."

"No! I couldn't ask that of you. Especially since I've taken so much from you."

"What have you taken from me? You are still alive. That is all that matters. I will miss the blood bond, I enjoyed being connected to you."

I took a deep breath and said the words. "I want to be with you. Forever."

Eric actually took a breath. He inhaled sharply and pulled back away from me. His eyes narrowed and he ducked his chin into his chest. He clearly didn't believe me. Well, I could show him that I was serious. I removed my house coat and bent my head to give him my neck. I had seen fangbangers do this so many times. I had been disgusted by it so many times. But, this time was different. I was offering myself fully to a man that I loved and who loved me. I was willingly degrading myself, but it wasn't degrading at all, because I didn't wanted to be dominated by some fearsome vampire, I wanted to give as much of myself to the man I loved as possible. Isn't that what you do when you're in love?

"Sookie. Don't be ridiculous. You made it very clear that you do not want to be turned. I will not turn you."

"Do you want to turn me? This is the only area that you have not claimed me or tried to force me into. If you could have me, have your way, and I'm not asking you to consider what I want right now, would you turn me? Would you want to keep me?"

Eric kissed me hard and then looked at me again. "If I could have had my way, my glamour would have worked on you the first night I met you. I would have had sex with you, fed from you, discarded you right along with the rest. If I had glamoured you the first night, if my way had won through, would we even be having this discussion? No lover, I think not."

"But now? Now that you know me? Now that you love me? Will you discard me now?" I didn't feel angry at his admission, I had already known all of that. But I was sad at the idea he didn't want me around forever.

"Sookie, I've told you about vampires and love. It just never works out. Vampires don't love other vampires. We do not give power over ourselves to another."

I cut him off. "You said that it wasn't usual. But, it has happened, even if was only once."

"Yes."

"And haven't you already given me some power over you?"

"Yes."

"Are you afraid of me truly being your equal?"

"No."

"Then answer the simple question: Do you wish to turn me and love me forever?"

Eric's eyes closed, and he remained very still for a long moment. When he opened his eyes another blood tear had formed. "It would hurt me very much to lose you forever. The longer I keep you as human, the longer I want to keep you, if you understand. The only thing that has stopped me from turning you is your wish to remain human. If you wish to die and go onto your idea of the afterlife, then I should not come between you and your final wishes. But, yes, Sookie," and here his eyes blazed bright, "yes, I would turn you and keep you by my side. While I was free to love you, during my stay here, when I had forgotten my vampire pride, when I had remembered nothing more than the human pride of having a good woman by my side, I loved you and desired you enough that I truly considered turning you then."

"What stopped you?

"You did not want it. I do have the ability to put others before me. Everything I have done that you describe as high-handed I have done with your protection in mind. Sharing my blood with you during love-making has been wonderful, but I will not do it anymore. You can not have any more of my blood unless you wish to be changed."

"Then change me. I can't go another day feeling like this. Even without the blood bond, I feel complete with you here."

"No, Sookie. You must learn to live without it."

"Why?"

"Because I will not make you my Reinfield."

"What! How am I anything like that?"

"You are begging for my blood, for me to change you, for you to be allowed to never leave my side. I find that I have deluded myself in thinking that I was in control. I never meant to put so much sway over you. I am sorry that I could not protect you from me."

"What exactly are you saying?"

"That unless you can show that you can live with your decision to part yourself from me, I will remove myself from you."

My heart stopped. I swear it stopped for a full three seconds. I spent the entire day mourning the loss of a soul mate, and now that soul mate was trying to tell me that I was being needy. I got mad then. I pulled my hands from his and stood up.

"I admit to you, for the first time, that I am in love with you. I tell you that I'm ready. And you reject me." Yeah, okay, my pride was a little bruised. "So what, now that I'm giving myself, I'm not good enough." His face darkened as he looked up at me and opened his mouth. "You will let me finish! You think that you can control my life. You call me up whenever you find it conveinent and never think of how my life is distrupted. You have done nothing but manipulate me into this very spot by being high-handed and completely selfish. I have fought tooth and nail to stay away from you, and now," and yes, I screamed a little, "now, you tell me that if I can't stay away from you, you will leave me. Why does everything in our relationship have to be on your terms?"

I didn't wait for his response, I stalked out of the room, tossing my new gown and housecoat on the ground. I broke one of my plastic hangers when I ripped a pair of my favorite jeans off of it. I slammed my drawers shut as I looked for the perfect shirt. I yanked on my shoes and stormed towards the door. I had no idea where I was going, but I had to get out of the house.

"Sookie," Eric grabbed my arm and pulled me to him, "stop. What are you doing?"

"Out. I'm not about to sit here another minute mourning someone who doesn't want me in his life." I pulled against his arms, but he wouldn't let me go.

"Sookie, I didn't say I didn't want you in my life. I said you need to get used to not having the bond. If it is easier for you not to be near me until that happens, I will stay away."

"Oh, I'm going to be able to stay away from you." He let me pull away this time.

I drove past Merlott's, I drove through the town, and then out of town limits. When I got to the highway I turned away from Shreveport. The faster I pushed the car, the farther I got away, the better I felt. The hours passed underneath the tires of my car. The anger slowly drained away and all I could feel was the sadness.

Just before dawn I stopped at small motel along the interstate. I called Sam.

"Sookie, what's wrong?"

"Sam, I need you to take care of a few things for me. First, don't say anything until I get this all out. I need you to let Jason, Amelia, and any one else know that I'm moving away. I'm sorry Sam but I quit effectively immediately. Give Jason my last paycheck to deposit into my bank account. If Eric or Pam or any other vampire comes looking for me, you have no idea where I am, because I'm not going to tell you. I thank you Sam Merlott for being such a great friend. I'm sorry things couldn't work out between us when we had the chance. Tell Jason I'll be in touch once I'm settled, and tell him not to sell Gran's house. I guess that's it."

"So I take it things didn't go well with Eric tonight, or did they go too well?"

"Everything went wrong, Sam. I don't know what to do. So I started driving away from Bon Temps, away from Shreveport, away from everything. I think I'm going to try and find me a place that doesn't have any vampires and try to resettle."

"Can't Eric find you?"

"No, when I broke the blood bond it broke everything. He can't track me by the blood. That doesn't mean he can't follow my scent, but I'm hoping he's not following me. And if he is, if he can hear me, he better stay the hell away from me." Anger flooded over me once again. "Sam, I'm sorry about all of this mess. I'm going to catch a few hours of sleep and I'll probably head out in the daylight. I have no idea where I'm headed, or when I'll be back."

Sam was silent for a good full minute. "I'm sorry you're leaving. If you make it back this way, your job will be waiting for you. But whatever happens, keep in touch."

"Thanks, Sam. Bye."

I hardly heard his parting word. I dropped the phone and fell onto the bed. What the hell had I gotten myself into. I already regretted leaving. I cried myself to sleep.

* * *

**Sorry I didn't update earlier. Family in town - they're gone now. Okay, so now the question is - can she really re-settle? Can she really hide from the vampires? Can she hide from her feelings for Eric? Will she ever grow up and swallow her juvenile pride and stop being selfish? We'll see - really, really soon. **

**P.S. - I'm thinking of throwing in an EPoV or a PPoV- as much as we all want Eric will that fit for the story? Keep in mind that the chapter titles and bold inserts are lyrics of the song that should be read from EPoV - would it be too much to add more Eric? (I know that sounds impossible.)**


	4. Are You Coming Back?

**Are you coming back,  
And is it grace like that? **

When I woke up, it was afternoon. Sometime during my crying, I realized that Eric was right. I needed to learn to live without the bond. Me leaving Eric because of the loss of the bond was like him leaving me because I suddenly couldn't read minds anymore. I was a selfish bitch. I decided that the only way for me to really grow up was to stay away, for awhile. I had wallowed in self-pity when Bill had left me, jealousy when Bill had moved on, and then finally settled on being numb until I had forgotten both the love I had once felt for him and the pain that he had caused me. I wasn't going to allow that to happen with Eric. Eric deserved to be loved for who he was, not because I was addicted to him. I was going to live without the temptation of crawling back to Eric and being nothing more than a Renfield. When I was wholly me again, I would crawl back, ask for forgiveness, and accept whatever he had to say like a true adult. My juvenile pride wouldn't get in the way anymore. And if he was too proud to say he loved me, then I would say it for him. If he didn't want me around, I would just have to accept that. Even thinking about Eric not wanting me around hurt me physically. I swallowed against the emptiness and prepared myself for whatever was coming.

I paid the hotel bill and got back on the freeway. I had to stop for gas just before the Alabama border, and decided I'd drive right on through to Savannah. I'd heard that was a pretty city. It was only half of an idea, but a half-idea was better than none. I bought a map from the gas station and was pleased that the highway could take me almost all the way through Georgia. I stopped only to get gas, to eat, and to stay one more night on the highway.

I didn't really need the second night, I was just trying to delay my arrival. I was still allowing a little bit of the delusional, selfish me some time to indulge in fantasy. I was hoping that Eric would come and tell me that I was an idiot and kiss me until I couldn't breathe and then make love to me until I died from pure bliss. The stop at the cheap, and honestly scary looking, motel was my last hope that Eric would track me down by my smell. I walked around the little town touching as much as I could, hoping that he would catch my scent if he somehow found his way to this sleepy little town. I took a pizza back to the hotel and sat on the bed, and stared blankly at the television, which wasn't on. I went one last round with self-pity. I told myself that if Eric really wanted me, really wanted to keep the bond, he would have come after me. Now that the blood bond was gone, I was back to being simple Sookie, the telepathic bar-maid. Well, the former bar-maid, I was still a telepath.

But, I was also still Sookie. The same girl that walked into a damn vampire bar wearing a white sundress and caught the eye of the most wonderful man God could have ever allowed me to meet. I vowed I would make myself better for Eric.

I made it into Savannah with daylight to spare. I got another cheap hotel and set out to locate every bar in the city. It was after dark when I managed to land a job at the fifth stop. Lucky me, one of the waitresses had just walked out, refusing to serve a vampire. I had to hold back tears brought on by the irony, but I was going to serve that vampire with a smile damn it.

When I introduced myself, the female vampire looked up at me with shock on her face. Since, the only times I've seen vampires show emotion I ended up getting hurt, I tensed. If the woman had been human, I probably could have taken her. She was on the shorter side, thiner than me, and didn't look to have a lot of muscle, but she was also vampire; which meant she could throw me across the room without so much as breaking a nail.

"Sookie? Sookie Stackhouse?"

"Yes." Shit!

"You are the telepath that belongs to Area Five of Louisianna?"

"Yes." Holy, Fucking, Shit! Now was the perfect time to curse.

"Why are you in Area Two?" She looked as suspicious as she sounded.

"I needed a change of scenery. Too much was going on. Extended vacation, you know. I'm only planning on staying a year."

"Does the Sheriff and King know you are here?"

"No, I just arrived today. I don't even know where their compounds are. Perhaps you could show me the way?" I should have known better than this. I could have at least used a fake name right?

The vampire, who still hadn't told me her name, narrowed her eyes to slits. "Has your Sheriff not told you where to find Barbara Ann or Raul?"

"No. To be honest, I wasn't even sure if I was going to be coming here. When I gained permission to leave the area on vacation, I didn't have a plan. I got here a few hours ago, decided that I like the look of the city and started looking for a job. I was going to call **my**," and yes I really did stress the word, "sheriff later in the evening."

The lady vampire looked like she was about to say more on the matter, but closed her mouth and shot her eyes towards someone behind the bar. I turned my head; my new boss, David, and my new manager, Brian, were obviously talking about me, and not in a good way. I peeked into their heads, they were put off by my cozying up to a vampire when I had other tables, other tables that would purchase more than a single drink.

"Look, I mean no disrespect, and I'd like to talk a little more, but I really need to get started working. What can I get you?"

"Life Source, A positive."

"Yes ma'am." I nodded my head to her, suffered the looks of my higher ups, and went on to other tables.

Within twenty minutes I proved that I could pull my weight, plus some. I had relatively few cock ups (David's description) despite being new to the system. I earned a place on the team. I spoke once more to the vampire, who finally introduced herself as Justinia. I prepared to settle myself down in Lucky on the Beach.

Six months went by before Pam walked through the door of Lucky's. She was in a knee length tweed skirt, a white peasant top, and chocolate pumps. I spun around quickly and took several ragged deep breaths.

"Well, hello Sookie. Where's your section?"

Pam wasn't going to let me out of her sight tonight. Without turning around I pointed to the tables on the far side of the bar. I felt the blank spot of her mind float away from me. I prayed silently but fervently to God to grant me the strength not to break down in front of everyone and demand she take me back to Eric. I had thought I made some really big strides in my going-to-be-strong-enough plan, but apparently I hadn't made it far enough.

I automatically heated her an A positive TrueBlood. Savannah had its share of vampires, so there was nothing odd about Pam's arrival, but the few friends I had manage to make were cutting their eyes at me. It was the concern behind those eyes that steeled my nerves. I had never been afraid of vampires before, and I wasn't going to be afraid (in the emotional sense) of Pam now. I plopped the bottle down in front of Pam and gave her a genuine and unconcerned smile.

"Well, Pam, what does Eric want?" I figured there was no reason to be polite.

Pam enjoyed the fact that I wasn't scared or impressed by vampires. Her teeth slid forward as she leaned over to take my hand.

"Sookie, at the very least I have missed your company. Life is so dull without you around. There hasn't been the slightest hint of trouble in your neck of the woods. Tell me why I would need to come here on Eric's behalf?"

"Pam, I like you and all, but let's be honest: vampires first, right? I doubt very seriously that you've missed me so much that you took it upon yourself to come visit me. To wait six months means Eric wants me to do something for him."

"Eric would like you to do a great number of things for him, and to him I might add," I blushed seven shades of scarlet, "but why do you assume he doesn't simply miss you. You were once his bonded, and you are still his mate. You can't change that."

I took a long, deep breath, and looked her straight in the eye. "You're right, I have no idea how to," I paused to consider my word choice, "divorce Eric. But, I know that I can and have been living my life separately from him, as he wanted me to do. I've been succeeding at remembering who I am as a separate identity from the Sheriff of Area Five. I've made a home for myself here. I've got some friends, a decent apartment, and I've even casually started seeing someone."

Pam squinted her eyes at me. "Come here."

Knowing full well that I wouldn't be able to stop her, I stepped up to her, pulled my hair from my neck, and went down on my knees so she could smell my neck. I heard some voices raise around me, and thoughts all around the bar echoed surprise and some fear and some anger. I was on my knees, offering up my neck like some common fang banger, and I couldn't care less what they thought. Pam grasped my arm roughly.

"Eric will be displeased that you've been sleeping with a Were." Her eyes had that lovely gleam at the thought of being able to tease Eric. But even she wasn't happy.

I bit my tongue to keep from saying the ugly things I really wanted to say. See, I can be a big girl. I stood up, "Pam, we'll finish this conversation later. You can sit here if you want, but you'll have to keep ordering, or you can go on to my apartment. I'll give you my key as way of formal invitation into my home."

"Thank-you Sookie. I'll wait for you here, if you don't mind."

"Fine." As I turned on my heels I muttered, "Not much I can do about it if I did." I swear I heard her snicker.

"Sookie, is that vampire a friend of yours. I can toss her out, if you need me too." Alexander was a good bartender/bouncer, and had been a decent friend since I walked in that crazy first night. He had been too swamped with drink orders to do anything more than yell if I could make it through that night then he would take me out. Since then, we had gotten to know each other, and had an the rare occasion slept with one another. The latest opportunity had been just last night. I didn't see it as cheating on Eric, our marriage was a political one built for my safety, and the future of our relationship depended on me becoming strong enough to live without him. I went ahead with the assumption that I needed some physical and emotional distraction. But, I had been honest with Alexander and told him just about everything about my past. I wasn't going to lead him on.

"She's a friend. She's going to wait for me to get off. I promise she won't cause any trouble, and she'll keep ordering."

"Alright, but let me know if I miss any funny business."

"Thanks." I dropped off several dirty glasses I had picked up on my way back to the bar and made another trip around my tables.

I was kept busy enough that I didn't have time to make conversation with Pam so she sat silently, watching me, and steadily ordering bottles of TrueBlood. Vampires came in frequently, but none never watched my movements as closely as Pam did. It made the other girls nervous, and told me to leave my side work for them to finish. After checking their heads, and with Brian, I agreed.

Alexander followed me into the locker room in the back. "Can I come over tonight?" I recognized the possessive tone in his voice.

"Don't get all territorial just cause I smell like vampire. Pam is a friend of mine -"

"Since when?"

"Since Louisiana, nosy. And-"

"Is she the one you're still working for?"

"No. She's a friend, who's come for a visit. And-"

"How long is she going to be around?"

I gritted my teeth and counted to three. "Please stop interrupting me. Pam has an open invitation to my house. Just because you and I sleep together on occasion does not mean you have the authority to get in my business. I've always been honest with you, and told you that my past will creep into my present. If that means business or pleasure, so be it. I'll see you tomorrow night." I slammed my locker shut and walked quickly past him. It's never good when a Were is shaking from anger.

When I met Pam at the door her fangs were down, and it wasn't from the pleasure of seeing me. I walked up to her and got right in her face.

"I am fine. This is my job. Let's go, shall we?" I smiled at her and took her arm. The fire in her eyes flickered out and she smiled back at me. We walked out of the bar arm in arm with Pam talking loudly about how much fun we were going to have together that night. I flushed deep red over many of the mental images that I caught.

Once in the car she was still smiling, but her conversation turned much more poignant.

"Eric sends his regards and hopes that his lover remembers him fondly." Six months separation couldn't stop the heat that flashed straight up from between my thighs. "I'll tell him that you do." I wanted to smack the smirk right off her face.

"Look, if you really did come just to see me, you know I'm happy to have you stay with me. But, if Eric sent you, which I'm sure he did, than please just get it out of the way."

"The vampire community is aware that your blood bond with Eric is broken. If you were going to run, you should have run where the vampire population is non-existent, like Wyoming. The only thing keeping you in your own home is the fact that your mate is extremely over-protective."

"Which of the tailing vampires and Weres are his?" I ignored the possessive pronoun choice. ButI couldn't stop myself from doing an internal happy dance at the thought that he belonged to me as much as I belonged to him.

"All but two." I just nodded. From day one I had learned to ignore the ever present Were or vampire that was following me. "Those two belong to Barbara Ann, she would like very much to acquire your services."

I had met the sheriff of Area Two the second night of being in Savanah. When I served Justinia on my first night I realized that my name was bigger in the vampire world than I had thought. I was going to have to do everything by the book, even if it was the vampire book. Justinia was Barbara Ann's second, she took me to meet the sheriff who was delighted to offer me a job on her daytime staff. I explained that I was merely paying my respects and that I still belonged to Eric. Any requests for me to work for her would have to first go through him. But after that night, there was an increase in the vampire population in the bar on the nights that I worked. Barbara Ann was just waiting for the moment to come in and steal me away.

"So why did he send you now, since he's been having me followed since day one?"

"He sends a gift. I'll give it to you later. He also sends a reminder and a request. The three are of course connected, but separate."

"I'm not even going to ask you to explain that." We got to my apartment, but I stopped and looked her dead in the eye before inviting her in. "Should you allow any other vampire access to my apartment your invitation and theirs is automatically rescinded. You and you alone are invited in."

Pam smiled and gave a false sound of exasperation. "Once you finally give yourself to my master fully, you will make a wonderful vampire Sookie. I do so look forward to the day when we are sisters."

"I will not voluntarily be turned."

"Then I may have to attack you myself. Honestly Sookie, it will happen one day. Why not make it happen on your own terms?"

"What do you mean it will happen?"

"If I was trying to secure you for myself, to work for me, I would have you kidnapped during the day, and then at night turn you."

"WHAT!"

"Sookie, please don't be so naive. That's why Eric has you followed. He knew about the man you were sleeping with; destroyed his office over that bit of information. He has yet to discover that the man is a Were, although he should have been told by the Weres that having been following you. Eric will be having words with Alcide. I'm extremely glad I get to be here when I tell him that bit of news. But, enough of the pleasantries, your gift. This gift comes with a request and is a reminder." She handed me an old wooden box with Celtic looking carvings. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Inside, laying on a bed of velvet, was a white-gold chain. Hanging on the chain was a beautiful ruby and diamond ring and a small vial. "Eric requests that you wear this necklace at all times." She waited.

I lifted out the necklace and stared at the ring. It was both beautiful and simple, it looked like it belonged on the chain, but I knew if I took it off, it would fit the ring finger of my left hand. Then I looked at the vial, and then my eyes darted up to Pam.

"May I put the necklace on for you?" she asked.

"Yes, please," my voice came out in a whisper.

She sat behind me and carefully took the necklace from me and hooked the chain around my neck. All the while she spoke. "This is a reminder of your pledge between one another. This is a reminder that you can be bonded by blood at any moment. Eric has spoken to Amelia and Octavia; a single drop is all it takes. Open the vial and you will find Eric's blood. Get a single drop to your tongue and he will be at your side. He gives you this blood and waits for you to make the decision."

I held the necklace in my hands and felt the tears roll off my cheeks. I wanted so badly to open the vial. I could feel the power of his blood through the glass; it warmed my hand and reminded me of the many nights we spent laying in one another's arms.

"This isn't fair Pam." How was I supposed to live without the bond, when I literally held in my hands the key to reforming it.

"Do you love him?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"Then it is perfectly fair. He gives you his hope and his love and waits for your acceptance or final rejection." Pam was absolutely dead pan in her delivery, but I could see the fire back in her eyes. She wanted me very badly to accept her maker.

"What about the request and reminder? The ones that aren't attached to this necklace." I absently stroked the carvings of the box.

"The pledge that exists between the two of you lasts one hundred years, or until death. The pledge, like all pledges between vampires, must be consummated once a year, or the pledge is voided. If you choose to live apart from Eric and not reform the bond he will accept that choice, but you must come to him, or him to you, once a year for a conjugal visit. He reminds you that this pledge is the only thing keeping you from the other vampires right now."

"I have to have sex with him?"

"That is the definition of a conjugal visit, yes. It must occur before the year mark that you left him. It can happen sooner than later, but then your next visit must occur within a year of that first visit, and so on. Do you understand?"

"And when was he going to tell me this?"

"At the time, it didn't matter. You were already willingly laying with the man. Why would he need to tell you do to something you were already doing?"

"Fair point." The anger that flared in me sputtered out. "I'm assuming I'll have to go to him."

"Well, there in lies the request. He wishes for you to come at the end of December for a meeting. Several humans that are on the King's daytime staff will be coming to this meeting, and Eric would like it if you would come to listen to their nasty little thoughts."

"This is a request?" I didn't try to hide my skepticism.

"Yes, Sookie. Eric is merely trying to find out things for future endeavors, that's all."

"Trying to stay in front of the King?"

Pam smiled, "Yes. So you see it would be a favor for him if you came, but it isn't anything that you have to attend."

To my knowledge, Eric had never actually asked me to do anything. Oh, he may have formed it as a favor, but it was always most certainly a demand. I took a very deep breath, not knowing if I was going to regret what I was about to say or rejoice in the words.

"Alright, Pam. When you speak with Eric tonight, let him know, I will come."


	5. You're So Pretty When You're Not Trying

**Have to give a heads up -Sookie is listening to Pam talk to Eric. Pam will be the only one actually talking for awhile. So, even though a new paragraph starts it's still her. Sorry if it leads to confusion, I just didn't like it in standard format.**

**

* * *

**

**You're so pretty when you're not trying.**

Unlike the last time Pam checked on me for him, she didn't leave the room to call Eric. I was sitting on the opposite end of the couch watching her with anxious eyes.

"Good evening Master," she winked at me.

"Your lover sends her regards and hopes that you remember her fondly," I smirked at her. Pam returned the grin and rolled her eyes at Eric's reply.

"I'll let her know that you share in her feelings of desire," I remembered the feeling of desire I felt in the car and decided it might not have been a good idea to listen in on this conversation; I'd either die of embarrassment or spontaneously combust.

"Yes, she did have the same reaction." She grimaced slightly at the next retort, "Eric, I really don't want to tell her that you'll be doing that in those exact words. Can I just paraphrase." She winked at me again, and I immediately knew what he told her. I bit my lip, closed my eyes tightly, and tried unsuccessfully not to imagine him doing what he told her he would be doing.

Pam laughed, "Thank-you Eric, I'm sure she'll enjoy the knowledge that you are doing that." I hate her.

"I have given her your gift. Well, I think it looks rather nice around her neck. Yes, she allowed me to put it on her immediately. Yes, even knowing what they symbolized. Of course, she asked first." The smile on her face dropped as she answered his next question, "No, Eric." I felt she had not repeated his question for a reason, and I wondered what the question was.

"Once it was on her neck, she started leaking all over the place, it was disgusting. No, she was doing it out of happiness. Why have the same reaction for two different emotions. I'm so very glad we don't have them anymore, aren't you, Eric? Oh, if you insist, I admit that you have feelings for her." Her eyes were glinting with mischief while she delivered this last speech in typical dead pan style.

"Well, now Master would you like the good news or the bad news first?" Her face and voice shared in the strain at having to tell Eric something unpleasant. I felt my stomach tighten at the suspense of hearing his reaction.

She closed her eyes as she asked, "Did you just break my favorite vase? You don't even know what the bad news is, yet. Well then, let me give it to you and stop throwing a tantrum." She flinched, "I'm sorry Master. It is about the man with whom she was sharing her bed." I opened my mouth to correct her, but she flashed me a look, and I closed my mouth as quietly as I could.

"You have not had all the information given to you, the man is not a man. No, not a woman, a Were." From across the couch, I could hear his roar of displeasure and the sound of breaking glass.

"Was that your bedroom window?" I covered my mouth to keep myself from making any noise. I really did not want to hear that I had hurt him, no matter how justified I might have been (or, believed I was) in having a little distraction.

"Well, now you are going to have to sleep in your guest room. Eric, the Were is someone she works with. The bartender. Yes, it is slightly ironic. He is nowhere near as good looking as you. I know, but that's what you meant." I almost snorted, who would have guessed that Eric would worry about how he compared (in any way) to another man.

"Recently. Last night. Please stop breaking things. Before that?" She looked to me and I mouthed the answer.

"One month. Her relationship with the Were seems to be what is known as friends with benefits. Would you rather the term fuck buddies?" Even I cringed at the term.

"Friends it is then. Eric, do you honestly think I asked her how many times she's fucked him?" Well, she was now, I held up four fingers.

"You're right. Four, but she wouldn't answer any questions about the details, so don't ask." I mouthed my thanks to Pam. I was very willing to admit that Eric was WAY better in bed, but I didn't really want to discuss it with Eric.

"Are you ready for your good news, or would you like to continue to rail about something that you already knew was going on. No, of course you didn't know that, but nothing has changed. The Were knows about you though. Yes, she has told him most of everything. 'Most' meaning that she didn't tell him things that would compromise herself or you. He knows who I am, but all that I am is a friend who has an open invitation. Not quite that open. You would be proud of her, Eric. She has hinged my invitation on me not inviting anyone in. Yes, that's correct, anyone would include even you." I closed my eyes tight again. While a part of me had known that would include Eric, I was thinking more along the lines of the other little minions of his running around the city. Maybe I would adjust the wording of Pam's invitation. I looked at her smirk, and even though I couldn't hear her thoughts, I just knew what was coming next.

"Yes, I think it would take quite a bit to make her reconsider." I just shook my head. She was allowing me to see her as she was with Eric. I wasn't the one talking to her, but I felt that Pam and I had never been closer. I knew that if I hadn't been so emotionally invested in this conversation, I would have thoroughly enjoyed it.

"Stop pouting, or I will not tell you the good news. This is why you are such a patient vampire, you cry over something for far too long to get to the good stuff. You wait out of sheer whininess." She was getting cocky, I was certain that it was only a matter of time before Eric commanded her to do something painful to herself. Of course, I was wrong.

Pam laughed in pleasure, "I only call it as I see, dear Master. She has consented to come in December." Pam's smile was the biggest I had ever seen.

"Don't push your luck." She rolled her eyes, and I had to slap my hand over my mouth as a giggle escaped. Pam's eyes narrowed at me to tell me that he had heard me. "Yes, she is in the room." Pam raised her eyebrows at me, and I was drenched in nervousness. This is what I imagined the pain of high school to be like. How could I talk to him, even knowing he like-liked me? But, how could I not. I held out my hand. Pam looked at me with a pleased look on her face.

"I am here," I remember laughing when he answered the phone like that so long ago.

Eric chuckled, "And I am here." He had given my response.

"How have you been?" It felt like such an inadequate question to start with.

"Destructive." We shared a laugh. "I'm sorry that you know about that. I do try to show some sort of semblance of control around you."

"Eric, you should let go of that control more often. Maybe it would scare the hell out of me to see it, and maybe this will sound like an insult, but it would make you seem more real, more human to me." I stuck my tongue out at Pam's snort. "I don't know how to interact with you sometimes because you are something so out of my experience."

"Sookie, you always tell me not to pull you into more vamp shit, so I can not truly be a vampire in front of you. I would scare you."

"When I first met you, you did scare the hell out of me. So wild, untamed. I miss you."

Eric took a moment to understand my transition. "You miss the me that you first met?"

"Yes, Lover I do," I felt whole saying his favorite term of endearment. I could hear Eric's purr of contentment.

"I'm beginning to think I never really understood you, Sookie."

"Don't say that." I couldn't disguise the sadness that filled me.

"What would you like me to say?" His voice was soft and held the tiniest hint of a smile.

"I want you to repeat what you told me after I first met Niall." There was only the briefest of silence, and then, I heard his fangs click. "You remember, then?"

"Sookie . . . Lover, I just want to fuck you and bite you and rub myself all over you."

I didn't try hide the shudder of desire that took control. "Well, I'll be seeing you in December."

-x-o-x-o-x-o-x-

Pam stayed for a week, sleeping underneath my bed. No, I had not planned on having a vampire stay over when I bought the speciality bed that came with a hideaway cot for slumbering vampires; I was just following the motto: _Be Prepared._ I switched around the two day shifts I had, so that I could also sleep during the day. It was so easy to get caught back up in vampire hours. I couldn't help but like that Pam was, in a way, sharing my bed; it gave me a connection to Eric that I missed.

At work it was business as usual. As soon as it was dark a vampire would walk through the door. As far as I could tell, orders were that one vampire from Eric's retinue was to sit in my section for as long as the bar was open. During daylight hours, a Were followed me from my home to where ever I had to go and back to my home. The Weres never followed me indoors anywhere, but stayed right outside to wait for me. They never bothered me, and only on the odd occasion would I even remember that they were there. The vampires from Barbara Ann would often join whoever was on night duty, but the vampires never seemed to become friends; I wasn't all that shocked. Barbara Ann only sent in her two drones every couple of days, and they would come in at different times. She did the same thing with some local Weres. About once a week, I'd see one of my Weres approach someone who had been eyeing me too long. I would check his head and sure enough Barbara Ann's name would be front and center. It was like she was looking for weak points.

That first night after Pam arrived a red-haired vampire named Margaret walked in. Normally I got a cheery smile and a small wave. This time Margaret bowed her head very low to me. I gave her a look of confusion. She looked at my necklace and smiled brightly. I got that she was recognizing my status as the lover, okay wife, of her boss. I smiled back at her and inclined my head in a way that I thought Eric would have done. When I gave her bottle of B-negative she allowed her fangs to descend and whispered a thank-you that I was sure wasn't connected to me serving her a bottle of synthetic blood. Pam joined her less than a hour later, and they talked like long lost friends. Which they very well might have been.

The second night, Pam was in the bar before Clarence came in. Pam was absolutely delighted with my response and told me it was perfect. At one point in the night she was on her phone, and she had a smile on her face. I was certain she was telling Eric about my behavior.

"Of course, Sookie. We are in agreement that you seem to have stopped trying to fight against him. You make a wonderful wife, Sookie." I didn't cringe away from her words; I took them for exactly what they were: a compliment. Maybe, they were right. Maybe I have finally accepted everything.

Over the next week each of the vampires that came in, except for Justinia and Roberto, sat with Pam. Even though, I had been pretty sure of allegiances, I now knew exactly which side each vampire belonged to. Margaret, Clarence, Stephano, Donna, Marcus and Abigail each bent their necks to Pam even lower than they did to me. When Justinia and Roberto nodded to Pam, it was just a flick of the neck, a subtle movement that I wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't watching.

Alexander was intolerable at work. I had to be in by five, so I arrived alone, and Alexander made sure to occupy the remaining daylight with berating me for having a vampire friend. I had never told him about my visit to Barbara Ann or the fact that some of the new vamp faces in the bar were my body guards. Alexander hated vampires almost as much as a member of the FotS. He served them in the bar only because it was illegal not to and because his boss told him to. He hated the fact that I smelled like Pam, and even though he didn't say it, he could smell Eric's blood coming from the vial. It drove him crazy not knowing what was going on in my house. It drove him crazy not knowing what exactly my connection to my Sheriff was. I told him several times in my most polite voice to "Fuck off." Alexander didn't miss all the head nodding either, and during a slow moment on the last night Pam was supposed to be in town, he called me out on it.

"Who the hell is this Pam? Why is she here to see you?"

"I've told you. Pam is my friend. She is from Louisanna. You know I worked for, **still** work for, the vampires of Area 5. You know I am in political marriage to the Sheriff of Area 5. You know that that means I will have to deal with local vamps as well as vamps from my area -"

"YOUR area!"

"Yes, my area. The area I am from. Some of the vamps will come in for business and some will come in for pleasure. Pam is here for pleasure." I gave him a cold smile, and from across the bar I heard Pam's snicker.

"I can smell that dead bitch all over you. Is that why I can't come over? You taking up with new bed mates. Is she your fuck buddy too?"

That right there was the last straw. I yelled at him, "You will not talk about me or my friends that way." I picked up an empty mug and broke it over his head. Alexander fell back a little out of shock and then took up an aggressive stance and growled at me. Some of the female customers had screamed, but now the male customers were starting to stand up with words of calm to Alexander. But, the guys weren't quick enough to calm the vampires. Pam grabbed me around the waist and pulled me clear to the other side of the room, while Abigail slammed Alexander first into the wall of liquor bottles and then threw him on the floor.

"You are so much trouble," Pam laughed into my ear. She turned me around and gave me a hard look in the eye, "Stay. Right. Here." I nodded and she was off to help with Alexander.

"Were, you will calm down. You will not shift. I heard your words, as did half the bar, your words provoked the blood offense. If you have a grievance you will plead it before your local pack master, your Sheriff, and the Sheriff of Area 5. If you agree to these terms, I will release you and allow you to work for the rest of your shift."

Alexander's retort was muffled, since his mouth was to the floor, but it sounded a lot like, "And if I don't agree?"

Pam was like a kid at Christmas. "Then I will first rip your tongue out of your head for speaking like that to the mate of the Sheriff of Area 5, and then I'll break both of your hands so you can no longer work. Which would you prefer?"

"I agree to the conditions," he muffled.

"You are no fun, Were." Abigail moaned as she lifted and dropped his head back onto the ground.

Pam looked up at the people who stared in amazement. Several of the guests had already left, and a couple had called the police. "A round of drinks on me; if you aren't drinking, order something."

Pam walked over to me, "Are you alright?"

"Of course I am, but Pam the police are on their way. And Savanah's got a Vamp Squad."

"I'm sure everything will work out well. Eric will be so pleased about tonight. You may get to see him sooner than December." She winked at me as she caught the scent of the rise in my pheromones.

* * *

**Okay, someone asked me about the timeline - I originally began this story after the Fairy War in DaG, but I obviously ignored any healing that Sookie had to go through; just too complicated. So, this is six months from then - around the end of July/early August time frame - give or take. You readers have been wonderful. Thank-you for all of your reviews, they bring such a big smile to my face. **


	6. You're All I Need But Not Enough For Me

**Eric PoV**

"Master, I think Sookie may have actually had a point, when she left," Pam was teasing me, so I ignored it. Mostly.

"Explain," I tried to sound bored, but I heard the glee in Pam's voice. I was going to have to send my child away for fifty years or so.

"She complained many times about us dragging her into our vampire shit. She actually leaves y- . . ., the area and manages to stay out of trouble for six months. The same week I walked into her bar, she's gotten herself into trouble."

"What! What kind of trouble Pamela?" Leave it to Pam to make a joke out of Sookie getting herself into trouble.

"Oh, to the tune of a blood offense."

"I will have the head of whoever spilt her blood! Was it that Were?" I brought my fist down onto my desk.

"Eric, I gave you my desk after making you swear you would not break it. If you can't fix it, you best find me an identical one."

A small piece of my mind must have registered the sound of the desk cracking, but I had to look down to see the damage. I sighed heavily, and wondered where I could find a woodworker who specialized in Eighteenth Century desks. "I'm sorry, Pam. I was not thinking."

"Yes, another point to Sookie. Since that girl came in your life you have stopped thinking." Her voice was vicious.

I knew Pam was only venting about the desk and not being disparaging of Sookie, so I said nothing.

Pam spoke again, "Yes it was the Were." I looked for something that was not Pam's to throw. "But, you will not be taking any heads." Pam's laughter was back, and I stopped my search.

"Explain."

"Sookie broke a mug over the Were's head and drew blood." Pam spoke in her bored voice.

"She did what?" I was impressed, but concerned as to why she would have to do such a thing. "Where were you?"

"I was watching her do it. The Were was giving her a hard time about me, and he said something that she considered just a little too vulgar. So, she resorted to violence. It was highly entertaining. Abigail and I stepped in at that point. I told him to plead his grievance to his pack master, Barbara Ann and you. Abigail was really hoping he would refuse to cooperate." The sound of Pam's voice told me that she had really hoped for the same thing. I was in agreement with both women.

"Will there be a grievence?" I asked hopefully.

"Most likely. She was working at the time. The Savannah VS are here talking to both of them. It may have to happen just to show that there is justice among the supernatural community." She was quoting someone from the VS, I was sure of it.

"Should I come tonight? Or wait for the summons?" I asked through my teeth. I hated following Pam's advice on this, but I had made the agreement. So far, Pam had been right.

"I'll talk to her tonight and find out her feelings on this." Something in Pam's voice told me she had already talked to Sookie, and she already knew the answer.

"Pam." I put a Command in my voice.

"She desires for you to come in early, but I think you should stay until the summons."

"Why?"

"If you overwhelm her she may spook."

"She's not a horse, Pam.

"No, she's not." Pam's voice took a tone, I have never heard. Was Pam indignant? "And she's not a vampire, either. She's spent her entire human life fending people off because she knew that humans are not as good on the inside as they appear on the outside. She has spent her whole life running, trying to keep everything out. The first one she could truly let in to her heart hurt her. When you tried to get in, she was scared you would hurt her. She was scared that you could not give her what she wanted. She is still scared because you can't give her everything she needs. And she is scared because she can't give you everything you need. You are worlds apart, Master. She has finally reached a point that she can give what she can, accept what you can give, and struggle through anything else. But, and this is a very big but Eric, if you try to rush in without having reached the same compromise on your end, she will run again. You are a good master, a good vampire, and on the rare occasions a good man, but you need to be more. You gave her power over you when you let her have your heart. But, you have refused to yield to that power. She may be ready to see you, but you are not ready to see her. The police need to speak with me. I'll call you back later."

In all the time I have known Pam, I have never heard such a long speech. And, it was sentimental. And, she was telling me what to do. And, I was listening. And, I was going to wait. I had one too many "ands" for my liking. Life was so much easier when I didn't have to worry about women or their feelings. Aude had already been married to my older brother, not only did she know what was expected of her, she had experience. Now, this woman, my lover, my wife, was apparently acting out because she didn't know what to expect or know how to behave. I watched Sookie come out of many situations alive when another human wouldn't have. Sookie knew how to survive, she had adapted to the vampires with ease. How could she not know what to expect from me? Were matters of the heart so different?

I pinched the bridge of my nose, a habit from my human days. Why great Odin, did this woman have to come into my life after a thousand years? I should have just forced Compton to give her to me that night. But, she was unwilling, and I couldn't glamour her. I knew even in my most brutal days I would never force a woman to submit to me in that way. I've fed off of many men, women, and yes, even children, but outside of the period when I was learning how to control my feeding, I had never killed a human without proper justification. I was proud of that. But, I was more proud that in all my years, despite changes in time and location, I have never been left in need of a woman. Now, I needed this woman. _ Sookie_! Her name echoed through by head as both blasphemy and supplication.

Pam said she was ready for me, but I wasn't ready for her. I was ready for her. I wanted her to be with me for all of eternity. I hated that she wanted to remain human. I should have turned her six months ago. She couldn't hate me; she had told me to do it. But I didn't because I knew she **would** hate me. She would claim I took advantage of her. She would have removed herself from me and I would have lived another thousand years without her, and not even with the comfort of knowing she was residing in Helgafjell, or Heaven, or whatever she wanted to call it. She would be doomed to a life that she hated for all eternity, and she would hate me for it. No, I would not take her life from her. But, I still wanted to do it. I still hoped she would change her mind. Is that what Pam meant? Could my hoping that Sookie would one day change her mind be getting in my way of treating her the way she deserved. Maybe I did treat her more like a vampire than a human, sometimes. But that was because I already felt that she was my equal. But she wasn't. Even though she was all I would ever need, she could never give me everything I needed.

I couldn't give her children. She couldn't give me eternity. I couldn't give her a peaceful life. She couldn't give me absolute submission. I groaned. I hated it when Pam was right. I wasn't ready to be okay with any of that. I would wait for the summons.

**Pam's PoV**

The child-maker bond is no where near the type of bond that Eric and Sookie once shared, but I could still feel Eric agonizing over everything I said. Good. I turned back to Sookie and Vampire Squad Officer Wilde. I was bored with their conversation; Sookie had answered the same questions three times, and not a word had been changed.

"I will be taking Sookie home now," I said.

"We are not done speaking with Ms. Stackhouse-Northman."

"You are done. Changing the form of the question does not change the function. We know how this works, just call my cell with the information for the grievance." I took Sookie by the arm and escorted her to the locker room.

I watched her change her clothes and allowed my teeth to descend with a wink. She huffed at me, but I saw the small twitch of her mouth. Good. I decided to compliment her, "You are very attractive, I don't see the point in trying to be modest about the obvious."

"I don't need two blonde vampires trying to get into my pants, thank-you very much Pam."

"Sookie, only one vampire is trying to get into your pants at the moment." I waited for her to throw me a look of exasperation, "And, he isn't here at the moment."

It felt good to see her smile. It felt like I was teasing Eric. I wrapped my arm around hers once she was dressed and escorted her from the building. As I got into Sookie's car, I nodded to Abigail, who was now observing from out of Sookie's sight, or "hearing." Abigail would follow us to Sookie's house and wait until the day watch took over.

"Pam, would you mind if I stopped to get some fast food. I just want to eat something greasy and completely bad for me right now."

"Why should I object? I don't have to eat that filthy stuff."

"I always got the impression that vampires didn't like to watch humans eat."

"Do you enjoy the idea of fat free ice-cream?" Amelia had complained about that enough for all human women.

"No."

"Does it disgust you that others eat it?"

"No."

"Then we understand one another."

"Thank-you."

"Why do you thank me for something you need? Do you find me that controlling?"

Sookie lifted her eyes in shock and replied, "No, not at all. I just meant thank-you for understanding. Not everyone is. Understanding, I mean." Her voice dropped to a growl.

I gave her a small smile, but my dead heart swelled at her referring to that Were. Eric would be pleased. This last week, I watched her finally step into her role as wife of an area sheriff. She would make a wonderful vampire, but she was a spectacular human. If Eric can just get his act together, and help ease the transition for Sookie, they could both finally be happy.

"Pam, may I ask you a private question?" She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye.

"Do you mean one that you wish for me not repeat to Eric or one that you don't think I would normally answer?"

"Both." Oh, she was so much fun.

"Go ahead."

"Do you ever regret losing your humanity? Are you ever sorry that Eric took your life?"

"Haven't you asked me this before?" That wasn't nearly as fun as it could have been. Oh, well. We would have plenty of time to discuss the many things I would never share with Eric.

"Yes, but now that we're . . . closer, I thought . . ." She drifted off, her face tense with worry at how I would respond. I kept my face locked, but I was pleased that she felt that we were "closer."

"You thought I lied to you. That I kept information from you because I am looking out for Eric or trying to add to the ranks." I didn't need to ask, I knew it was what she was thinking, the guilt in her voice told me as much.

"Not really, but yes, I did think you held back."

"Sookie, I have always enjoyed being a vampire. You must understand, I was not allowed to have the freedom you enjoy today. Marriage for love was rare for someone of my class. I was given a choice of suitors, but, believe me, they were all cut from the same mould. The one man I was ever attracted to I would never had been allowed to marry. So, if Eric hadn't taken me for his child, it would have been another man. My husband would have expected things of me that Eric never did. You know that we had sex, and it was often and, as I'm sure you can recall, quite enjoyable," I enjoyed that shade of pink on her almost as much as I enjoyed making her turn that shade, "however, Eric never forced himself on me, nor did he ever expect it of me. He would ask and I was free to turn him down. Whenever we would travel somewhere he always asked my opinion on the location. And when I was ready to live on my own for awhile, he helped me establish my own residence.

"If I had lived during your time, and Eric had come like a thief in the night, maybe my answer would be different. Your answer must be your own. I can not give you the answer you are looking for."

She nodded that she understood what I was telling her. Sookie was used to her freedom, she could never understand that choosing Eric ensured her freedom. Having to obey someone older and stronger or someone higher up on the hierarchal ladder was no different than her having to listen to her human boss, the police, or politicians. Sookie couldn't understand that until she came to that realization on her own. But, she needed to come to that realization soon; Eric may have been willfully ignorant of the situation, but I knew it was only a matter of time before someone turned her by force. Even being the mate of Eric the Northman would not keep her safe forever. I only hoped that they were prepared for the day that it happened. I did not want to live the rest of my days listening to them bitch about something which I warned them both of.

**Sookie PoV**

I don't know what I was expecting Pam to tell me. I doubted she had lied to me when we first discussed her feelings on being turned, but like her maker before her, she was quite capable of withholding information, which she did not consider lying. We drove the rest of the way home in a comfortable silence.

"Sookie." Pam placed her hand on my arm to stop me from getting out of the car. She looked around and suddenly got very nervous. A nervous Pam made a frightened Sookie.

"You have never invited another vampire into your apartment, am I correct?"

"Only you."

"And you never gave that Were a key did you?"

"Of course not." I listened for a moment. "Pam, there's no one in my apartment. No silent space, no snarling spaces, no human spaces."

"It's not the inside I'm worried about. I'm going to carry you. Just relax."

I didn't have time to open my mouth as to what she meant by "relax" before she had already gotten out of her side, opened my door, and picked me up. Five seconds later, she was depositing me at my front door on the second floor. She waited for me to go inside.

"Rescind my invitation." She whispered.

I whispered right back, "What! What if someone gets in here?"

She whispered again, "I'll stay right here in front of your door. I promise. But, I can't come in."

I whispered, "Pam, your invitation is rescinded."

She answered in a normal voice, "Good girl. Now go inside and don't worry about a thing. I need to call Eric. And Sookie, you may want to start considering that request Eric made of you." Pam didn't say anything about it, but she looked deliberately, with just her eyes, at the vial on my neck. Pam knew someone was in hearing range.

"Pam, could you wait for a minute or two, and let me call him first? I would like to tell him that I miss him and would very much like for him to join me for awhile." The look in her eyes told me she was proud of me for not giving away our knowledge that we were being watched.

"Very well, but as I'm sure he'll want to leave as soon as you ask him to come, please let him know that I would like to talk to him before he comes out this way."

I leaned out the door to give her a peck on the cheek, "See you tomorrow?"

"Yes, I think I'll stay a few more days longer, until Eric leaves."

"Enjoy your evening."

I shut the door, locked both of the bolts, and pulled the chain. I then pulled the heavy iron bar down from the wall and locked it in place against the door. I didn't think I was being paranoid, and neither did the vampire who had installed that bar less than a week ago. I pulled my cell phone from my pocket and held down the number one button, Eric's personal number. In the last six months, I had used it to call home a total of three times. First, in the hotel to let Sam know I was leaving, the second time to tell Jason that I had settled in and not to worry, and the last time, to talk to Bill about getting a legal copy of his database; there was no way on God's green Earth that I was going to surround myself with vampires without a little bit of knowledge. I pushed send and held my breath.

"Good evening, _min elsker_. What can I do for you?" The sound of Fangtasia surrounded his words.

I would be lying if I said that even in that stressful moment I wasn't aroused at the sound of his voice speaking in his old language. I took a deep peaceful breath and then refocused.

"Something's up. Pam is standing guard outside my apartment, and she made me rescind her invitation."

"_Faen alt til helvete_. I need you to tell me everything, quickly." Eric's voice was commanding. I felt safer already. I could hear background noise drop away as he walked outside. I heard his car start as I began speaking again.

"We got home from work, Pam told you about all of that, right?" I waited for him to say yes. "We just pulled up, and Pam got nervous. She didn't say what exactly was bothering her, but she carried me to the apartment, and with a whisper made me rescind the invitation. She wanted to call you first, but I asked her if I could do it. She wants you to call before you leave."

"Thank-you, Sookie. I'm on my way." I had a feeling he was about to disconnect the call.

"Eric!"

"Yes, Sookie." He sounded exasperated with me holding him up.

"Please, Eric. Just in case-" Eric interrupted me.

"No, lover. Not just in case. I will see you soon."

"Eric, you won't make it before dawn. I need to say I -"

"Not until I see you again." Eric's voice was hard, and before I could say anything more, he hung up the phone.

"Eric Northman, you are a high-handed asshole. And, I love you." I told the dead phone.

* * *

**If you keep getting double notifications about the updates - it's my fault. I get all excited about putting up the chapter that I forget to do my final editing. I do all my editing, so I triple check the work once I submit it to manuscript. Anyway - I decided to put in Eric's voice to explain the choice of the title - what do y'all think? Should I do it more often? I'm always open to constructive criticism. Happy Reading.**

**Oh, the language is Norwegian - My lover and Damn it all to hell. I used Google so blame it on any mistranslation.**


	7. So Lost

**So, sorry for the interruption. Out of town, then sick, then I fell asleep on the couch while writing this update. Sad. Anyway, here it is. We have to take a slight detour from the original plot line, but I promise we'll get back soon.

* * *

**

There were only a few more hours until dawn, and I spent every minute of them checking and rechecking my windows. The tenants who lived in the apartment before me had installed security bars over all the windows, but as they were made of iron and not silver, I knew they wouldn't hold up long. I had changed them all to silver two weeks after receiving the database from Bill. There were some seriously scary vampires in Savannah.

I would flit back to the door and peek through the peep hole and see Pam's blonde head pacing back and forth in front of my door. She would glance up at me, smile, and make a shooing gesture at me. I let down my mental blocks and listened like I had never listened before. The neighbors were sleeping, there was a blank spot that was Pam outside my door, but that was all. Who the hell had Pam spooked?

Thirty minutes before sunrise, Pam tapped on the door in way of goodbye, her blank spot disappeared, and Eric called.

"Good morning, Lover. Your day guards are being increased and should arrive very shortly after Pam and the others have left." Eric started, but I interrupted.

"What others?"

"There are four more vampires, beyond your range, standing guard over the apartment complex."

"And how do you know how far my range is?" I shouldn't have been impressed that he would know that.

"I tested it shortly after I found out about your telepathy. The point is, Sookie, that you will not be left alone for a moment. You will be safe. The guards will all be ones that you know. Don't let anyone in that you do not know."

"Eric, how do I know which ones are yours? I mean really know. I have my guesses, but that's all they really are."

"Trust your guesses. They all have reported that you've noticed them, many times. I must go to ground. I will see you this night. Good day, Lover."

"Eric, I lo-"

He did it again. I was getting tired of talking to a dead phone, I wanted my dead husband. I gripped onto the necklace. My husband. I unclasped the necklace and slipped the ring off the chain. I put the necklace back on and held the ring in my hand. Our marriage was political only. It had been orchestrated without my consent or my knowledge. It was done without emotion. It was done to protect me. That wasn't a real marriage. I was ready to accept everything about Eric, but this was still my one bone of contention. How could I refer to someone as my husband, when I didn't know I was getting married? Putting on the damn thing would symbolize my marriage to the whole world not just the vampires. Wouldn't that be a lie? No. A ring was a symbol of a commitment. Eric was definitely committed to me, I just needed to commit to him.

I thought back on my last six months. Alexander had been a distraction, nothing more. I had been able to accept Eric's high-handed decision to give me around the clock baby-sitters. I had been able to keep my telepathy a secret from my co-workers, I was no longer Crazy Sookie. I had even felt the emptiness close up. I was back to me, an even better me.

_Damn-it girl, just do it_. But I knew why I was having a hard time with putting it on. I wanted Eric to actually be the one to slip the gorgeous ring on my finger. It wasn't enough that he gave it to me through Pam, I wanted him to give it to me personally. But, I had done this to myself. He was finally giving me the choice. And hadn't I made it when I gave those stupid VSOs my name as Stackhouse-Northman.

_Chicken-shit couldn't give it to me in December._ I smiled the thought, using the word as a term of endearment. I took a deep breath and slid the ring onto my finger. Everything clicked right into place. I was now truly Eric's. And the whole world would know it. Of course, that's when someone knocked on my door.

It was officially dawn, so all vampires would be underground, or at least in blacked-out rooms. I wasn't sure who to expect, so I tiptoed as quietly as possible to the door. I looked through the peep-hole and saw Alexander. I groaned.

"What do you want?" I shouted through the door.

"I want to apologize." He held up a bunch of flowers and a white paper towel. "Truce?"

"Idiot." I mumbled and unlocked the door. I left the chain on though.

"Come on, Sookie. Let me in to apologize. I swear I haven't been drinking or anything. You were right to smash that glass over my head. I just wanted to talk about it. Let's see if we can work this out between friends. I don't want to have to drag you through something we both know I'm going to get in trouble for."

I listened to him for a moment. Weres were generally hard for me to read, but Alexander was even harder for me. It was one of the reasons I had chosen him to provide my distraction. The small noise that I got from his head seemed repentant and so I closed the door to undo the chain.

"Thanks, Sookie," he said as he wrapped me in a big hug.

"Come on in, I'll make you some coffee."

"Great." He stayed in the hall to take off his shoes like he was supposed to.

"So, you said I was right. What else do you have to say?" I asked from the kitchen as he sat on the couch.

"I was an idiot. I shouldn't have let my bad feelings about vampires get in the way of our friendship. You were right. I knew that you were "married," thank God he forwent the air-quotes, "to some vampire back in Louisiana. I knew that you like vampires in general. You never forced me to associate with your friends. I should have let it go."

"Why the sudden change in heart? After all the vampire rights arguments we've had."

"You aren't a vampire, Sookie. I know a lot of good guys that work for vamps as day guards. I don't hold it against them. I was just jealous. Say you forgive me?"

"I forgive your behavior, but I don't forgive your prejudice to all vampires. Just because I understand your history, doesn't mean I accept your decision."

"I know."

I handed him his cup of coffee, just the way he liked it: two spoons of sugar, one spoon of powder-creamer. As our hands met, he felt the ring. His eyes narrowed.

"Whose ring you wearing, Sookie?" he asked with bile in his voice.

"The ring of the Sheriff I work for."

"It's new?"

"No, I just don't wear it around in public. It would cause some uncomfortable discussions. Oh, my marriage is really just a political ploy to keep me safe from other vampires. Yeah, no thanks. I didn't take it off, because I didn't expect you at the door." I prayed to the highest heaven that he believed my lie.

"So, you wear it in private?"

"Yes."

"You don't wear it in public?"

"I just said no."

"What are your real feelings for the vampire?"

"What?"

"If you wear it in private, you must like him. Even if your too scared to admit it."

"Yeah, because I want to deal with this type of shit everyday." I was getting angry at his tone. I was angry at myself for letting him in. I was angry for walking straight into this conversation.

"You didn't answer the question Sookie. You love the corpse, don't you?"

"Didn't I just sleep with you like a week ago?" Try for deflect.

"What the fuck does that matter? Do you love him?"

"Yes! Like it's any of -" I didn't get to finish my sentence because he towered above me and knocked me over the head with the damn coffee mug.

I stumbled to the floor and felt a kick to my side. I couldn't breathe. I was afraid he cracked, if not completely broke, a couple of my ribs. My head felt like it was on fire from the hot coffee spilling on me, in addition to the pain from the crack in my head. Over my gasping for air and the ringing sound in my head, I heard my door open. A pair of large hands picked me up from the floor.

A voice I didn't know spoke, "You shouldn't have done that. You're going to cause more trouble for yourself."

"Fuck you. You wouldn't have her if it weren't for me." Alexander replied.

"Yeah, well no one will be pleased with you if she broken beyond repair."

"I didn't fucking kick her that hard."

"That's enough." The voice that belonged to the hands carrying me. I was only dimly aware that we were outside, and that I was being put into a van.

I tried to pull myself away from the throbbing in my head. I reached my hand up and felt my wet, sticky hair. I groaned against knowing how much blood must have been spilt. A wet rag was put over my face, and I inhaled overpowering fumes. The last thought that ran through my head was, _Eric is going to be so very mad._ I'm sure the grin stayed on my face.

I woke up tied to a chair in a most uncomfortable position. My hands were bound together in front of me. My feet were bound together. There was a rope that connected the bindings of my hands and feet. A rope was tied around my waist so I wouldn't fall off the chair. Well, yay for them for thinking of me.

I had the worst headache from the combined smack against the skull and the fumes of what I assumed had to have been ether. The side of my face and my shoulder throbbed from where the hot coffee had met with flesh. My side ached with every small breath, and believe me, I was very strongly trying for the small breaths. I guess I should have been grateful that my eyes weren't covered, but I really wasn't.

Standing in front of and around me where Weres. Weres that were supposed to be helping Eric keep me safe during the day. Someone really had a death wish to go up against Eric like that. No one in the state of Georgia was as old as Eric. He could easily lay down the whoop-ass on every last vampire in the state and not break a sweat. I wasn't so sure how vamps and Weres matched up competitively speaking, but I was pretty sure that Eric was going to have a slight upper hand. Although, after I looked around the room and actually counted the number of persons present, I was going to have contend that Eric was going to need back up. But, back-up to where?

"Afternoon, Ms. Stackhouse. Sleep well?" A younger Were, whose name I couldn't recall, was looking up at me from the cards he held in his hand.

"Oh, yeah. Like a rock. Waking up has been a bit rough though. Don't suppose I could request better accommodations." I wasn't even pretending to ask.

"You'll just have to take that up with the Sheriff," unremembered name replied. Well that was vague. My sheriff or Barbara Ann?

My sheriff. I looked to my hand and was relieved to find the ring was still on my finger. Even better the vial was on my necklace. And glory to Hosanna in the highest, my hands were tied in such a way that I might be able to get hold of the vial. But, I'd have to wait until I would have enough time.

"When can I expect to see the Sheriff?" I asked.

"Nightfall," his tone was perfectly sincere.

"Well, no shit." A heavy hand went against the back of my head.

"Knock it off now, Alexander. I'll make you leave." The voice that sounded a lot like carrying hands gave a warning from somewhere behind me.

Alexander came around and crouched in front of me. "I know you're not blood bonded to your sheriff, he can't find you anymore. It seems you've forgotten to tell me a lot about yourself." _Like you can read my mind._

"When did you start working for the vampires you hate so much?" I would ignore that last little bit, even though I was sure the rest of the Weres also knew.

"Since I refuse to let another person in my life get lost to their stupid games. I work for them, instead of you."

"Wow, that's kind of sweet in a crazy, psycho, fantasy world kind of way. Do you even know why I work for the vampires? Do you know what my job entails? Do you want to know why Barbara Ann would be so willing to help you kidnap the wife of another area Sheriff, seeing as how that's going to be bringing her a LOT of trouble? Did you even think about any of those things?"

"You're telepathic. That's what you did for those vampires. Barbara Ann won't force you to work for her. She'll get my permission first."

I should have just sat there in shock, but honestly I just laughed. I could feel the eyes of every Were in the room fixate on me. When I look at Alexander's confused and angry face, I laughed harder.

"Boy you are lucky you don't look half as stupid as you really are. Barbara Ann wants me as much as the rest of the vampire community wants me. Telepaths are rare. We can hear everybody but vampires. That's why my Sheriff married me, to keep his King from doing this very thing. That's why my Sheriff had formed a blood bond with me, to keep me from his former Queen. He didn't do it to keep me for himself, he did it to keep me free from other vampires, you stupid Were."

Alexander didn't look convinced, he looked infuriated. His body began shaking violently as he began to shift in front of me. The others started calling out warnings, someone pulled my chair back against a wall, and some began shifting as well. There were four large wolves in front of me, but that didn't stop Alexander. In full wolf form, he lunged toward me. I closed my eyes, but I could hear the snapping of strong jaws, the tearing of flesh, the howling of pain, and I could still smell the blood.

When it was once again quite, I opened my eyes. Alexander's lifeless body was mangled and bleeding. My four protectors were shifting back to human form covered in Alexander's blood. The thrill of a fight, however one-sided, had left them all extremely aroused. I moved my eyes elsewhere. I took in five other Weres in the room, and they all looked just as excited as their naked co-kidnappers.

"Stephen, David, take care of this." Stephen was the younger Were I couldn't remember. He followed me on the weekends, he was still in high school. A teenager shouldn't be disposing of bodies. Should he even have been watching me? Well, taking into consideration he wasn't really working for Eric the answer was obviously no.

"Kevin, you and Rodney get something to clean this up. Philip you stay and watch over the girl. We're going to get cleaned up." The man speaking looked down at me. He had been the one to carry me. He was an older man, salt-and-pepper hair, with grey eyes. "I'm sorry that you had to see that. Everyone else will be on their best behavior." I felt it was odd that he was reassuring me, but I doubted very seriously it was because he was some double agent. He had never been one of my body guards.

Despite my predicament it was quite the day for hallelujahs, because I was left alone with one guard, who took it upon himself to ignore me completely. I began rocking my chest forward slightly. The vial swung closer and closer to my straining fingers.

* * *

**Because the plot has slightly deviated, this chapter's title does not come from the song. But, it dose still reflect Eric's feelings. Next chapter will be Eric PoV. **


	8. It's All Too Simple

**In this chapter the italics are parts that the reader has already read. The first and third sets are E/S telephone conversations. The second, and longer, set is from _All Together Dead_ by the incomparable CH. I have only slightly altered it to fit from Eric's perspective. The parts in bold are internal thoughts. The names Allsvinn and Arvaker are from Old Norse mythology, which I admit I do not know enough about, they are the horses that drag the Sun. Oh, and because I don't ever remember to do this: All characters, except the ones not in the books, belong to Charlaine Harris and her _Southern Vampire Mysteries_. We just enjoy them too much to let them stay on the shelves. **

**

* * *

**

Eric PoV

_"Thank-you, Sookie. I'm on my way." _

_ "Eric!"_

_ "Yes, Sookie." _

_ "Please, Eric. Just in case." _

_ "No, lover. Not just in case. I will see you soon." _

_ "Eric, you won't make it before dawn. I need to say I -"  
_

_"Not until I see you again." _

I gritted my teeth together as I hung up on her. I hated that she choose now, NOW to decide she wanted to tell me that she loved me. Why did she have to be so damned difficult with everything? Why for fuck's sake didn't I just turn her?

As the saying goes, the pedal was truly to the metal. I had to glamor three cops before I hit the Louisanna border, another two after I crossed into Mississippi, and one just inside the Alabama border. Technology and I have never been friends, but I thanked all the gods for whoever had integrated credit card machines and gas pumps.

But no matter how fast I went, I was not going to get to Sookie in one night. I would have to go to ground before sunrise. Sunrise was going to be a headache. If I was in a city, I would have to locate a vampire friendly hotel and that would take time. If I was in a rural area, I could simply go to ground where I stopped my car, but my car could be towed. If I left a note, someone could search me out. I would be covered, but the ground would obviously disturbed. I cursed in seven different languages.

I hated being vulnerable. Fucking longer summer days and shorter nights. Fucking Were. _**I will kill him. I will trap him in his shifted form and skin him alive**. _I plotted several painful ways to kill the Were slowly for harming my lover.

She was my lover. We shared our bodies. We shared our love. We had at one time shared our selves. I gripped the steering wheel harder as every good moment we had ever shared flashed through my brain. I remembered forming the bond.

"_Eric." She bent her head and offered up her neck. _

_ Her one word, told me everything I needed to know. I knew that she was choosing me over Andre because she feared Andre. She preferred me, but did not want me. Not as I was standing in front of her in that damned robe; she wanted a me that I couldn't give her._

_ She knew we were tied, and she knew this would strengthen the tie. There was a blank look in her eyes as she tilted her head. I raised the cloak around us, remembering how she hated public displays such as this. It was all the comfort I was allowed to give to her. I wanted to hold her gently in my arms. I wanted to worship her perfect body. I remembered the way she felt under my body at Russell's mansion. I wanted to protect her. _

_ "Eric, no sex." Her voice was hard. She didn't want this to be an act of love. Even then I felt a small amount of hurt. Before the bond was even formed I had wanted to share myself completely with this woman that stood before me. I leaned down and took such a precious small amount of her blood. The taste of her filled me with a sadness that the bond couldn't have been formed under more romantic terms. She deserved the human notion of romance. At the time all I could offer was my hand rubbing small circles on her back as a means of emotional support._

_ And then it was my turn. I couldn't bend down to her, and I couldn't offer my wrist because we would have to move, and Andre was watching the cloak like a stalking beast. Sookie pulled open my shirt and seemed to steel herself to use her own teeth to bite my skin. I wanted to make it easier for her, but all I had was the damn ceremonial knife. The magic that surrounded that knife was one of the deepest magic. It would increase our bond. Well, that couldn't be helped as Andre was quietly whispering for me to get a move on. _

_ I sliced a small piece of my skin, and Sookie and I watched the thick blood ooze from the opening. Her warm mouth latched onto my chest. She could feel my arousal and held herself just far enough. The bond opened immediately and I felt my entire being warm to her "presence." She was embarrassed by what we were doing. I wanted to hold her tighter to me. What we were doing was the most beautiful thing in the world. But, she could not see it that way. She only knew that this was something intimate, and we were being watched. I tried to hold back the noise that came from the surge of pleasure that washed over me. _

_ She finally gave up and pulled away from me. With shaking hands she re-buttoned my shirt. I left my eyes closed and felt her through the bond. It was such a unique experience. She felt so many emotions; the greatest was embarrassment when that fucking tiger walked through the door. He called her his woman. Fucking tiger. _

_ Sookie, though using a strained voice, thanked me for trying to comfort her. I leaned back against the wall and allowed the cape to flow free. I wanted the tiger to know exactly what was going on. As Sookie's shame flared so did mine, although for far different reasons. She was embarrassed by what she had done and I was the source of her present embarrassment. For the first time in most likely forever, I regretted something I had done. I should have known better. _

That wasn't my only regret. It wasn't until later that I truly regretted the situation that forced the bond. It had been done without her consent. The only time I had ever had to take a woman without her full consent. Oh, she had willingly allowed me to drink her blood and give her mine in exchange, but her hand had been forced.

Maybe that's what she means by all of my "fucking vampire shit" and me being "high-handed." She never gets a choice. I sent her the ring and vial didn't I. It was her choice to re-open the bond or not. But, that had been Pam's idea. I hadn't really understood, not until I was speeding away the rubber on my tires trying to reach her before something happened to her. It wasn't just between us that she had no choice, it was everything to do with vampires. I really did treat her as nothing more than a vampire underling. I humored her the way I humored Pam. Oh, fucking great. I was going to have to tell Pam she was right, again. She would be reminding me for the next century.

I made a decision that when I finally held Sookie in my arms again, and when she was truly mine again, she would be my partner. We would really and truly be lovers. I would let go of that power that I had already given to her. She would have an active part in our relationship. I was going to better for her. I needed her, just as she was, it really was as simple as that.

It was forty-five minutes before sunrise when I finally stopped the car. I happened on a no longer used rest stop. I parked my car, left a note stuck into the wiper blade, and made my way into the surrounding trees. I pulled out my phone and called Pam.

"Report."

"She's fine Master. She won't go to sleep. She's been checking all of her windows over and over again. She also keeps checking on me through the damned peep hole." There was a smile in her voice.

"And you haven't reestablished an invitation, correct?"

"Correct."

"How many are out there?"

"Only three, for now. I have doubled the number of her daytime guards. I asked them to send only the ones that Sookie knows. But, can we trust them all? Alcide has admitted he does not know all of them."

"But he knows the Packleader and trusts him. The last six months haven't provided indication of deceptions. I don't like having to trust the Weres either, but what more can we do?" I hated having to trust them. I didn't trust them.

"You could call in the demons."

"No." I cringed as a memory of the only time I called in for demon assistance flashed through my brain. Mr. Cataliades and his niece were the only ones I would ever trust again. "You understand what kind of mess that would involve. That would guarantee trouble, without the assurance that Sookie would remain safe. We just have to trust that there is no deception within the pack."

"You mean Alcide has to hope there is no deception."

"Of course. If anything happens to Sookie, I'll be giving you a fur coat for Christmas."

"I've always wanted one, but I hope not to receive that gift. I have to go to ground."

"Be safe this day."

"Be safe." Pam disconnected the call.

I called Sookie.

_"Good morning, Lover. Your day guards are being increased and should arrive very shortly after Pam and the others have left." _

_ "What others?"_

_ "There are four more vampires, beyond your range, standing guard over the apartment complex."_

_ "And how do you know how far my range is?" _

_ "I tested it shortly after I found out about it. The point is, Sookie, that you will not be left alone for a moment. You will be safe. The guards will all be ones that you know. Don't let anyone in that you do not know."_

_ "Eric, how do I know which ones are yours? I mean really know. I have my guesses, but that's all they really are."  
"Trust your guesses. They all have reported that you've noticed them, many times. I must go to ground. I will see you this night. Good day, Lover."_

_ "Eric, I lo-"_

I clicked off the phone before she could finish the endearment. I could not hear it. I looked East and cursed Allsvinn and Arvaker for bringing the sun. For the first time in my first or second life, I prayed that there would be no blood shed, that I would not be needed to fight for the woman I loved. I prayed that if blood must be shed, that I would not arrive too late to save her. Planted firmly in ground I felt call of the sun and died for the day.

x-o-x-o-x-o-x

I exploded from the ground. The bond was open. It was stronger than last time. She could feel me as clearly as I could feel her. She needed me. I was too late. Pam would be too late. The grey of twilight was still surrounding the trees. Pam could not awake until full night. I was torn with my own emotions of pure happiness and anxiety that she needed me and I couldn't get to her. I roared out to the heavens. I may have knocked down a tree, but I was too gone in rage to know for certain.

My rage was stopped immediately by a pulsing of calm and love that came from Sookie. She was scared and only sightly injured. She was willing me to calm down, to focus. I could hear her as if she was standing right there. She was talking to me in her head.

**Hello my husband.** I froze as I heard her voice.

** Sookie!**

** I'm inside Barbara Anne's. She has me in a basement. When you arrive there are some that are still on your side.** I knew she meant the Weres. I doubted it very seriously but she could sense that. No. You must not kill them all. Philip will help you. He will meet you and let you in.

** How do you know you can trust him?**

** He helped me reform the bond. **A part of me wondered about that. **He wants out of his service to Barbara Anne. He asks for your protection and offers his fealty to you. **

** Why?**

** You are asking too many questions.**She was fucking chiding me, ME! She was right. **Of course, I'm right. I love you! There I've said it you pompous ass. Now come and get me!** She was pleased with herself. She was confident in me. Inside her mind were the vestiges of fear she had felt earlier in the day, but now that I was awake and coming for her, her bravery was taking a slightly cocky turn.

**Be safe this night.**

** I'm tied to a chair, I'll be fine. I'm more worried about you.** She was joking with me, about being held captive. She must have been hit over the head. **Yes I was. Now get in your damn car and get her. You're still too far away.**

** You can feel how far away I am?  
**

**You're still not moving, Viking.**

I had been frozen in absolute shock of being able to hear her. I flew to the car and was on the highway before she could chide me any longer about not living up to my duty.

Some part of me understood that I should have been worried about the strength of the bond, but a larger part of me rejoiced that I could feel her again. She had always been a presence in my mind, but now it was almost physical. My skin was alive at a touch that I could not see. I didn't know if this would fade, but I certainly hoped it never would. I could hear her every thought and she could hear mine. There were going to be times that this would be inconvientant, but at that moment it was better that Faery blood.

**Eric, we can close this.** And like that she was gone. I could feel her, humming away, all her emotions still there, but her mind was silent. **See? It's like when I talk to Barry or Hunter. Controlling your thoughts is hard, well for a human it's hard, but for you it should be no sweat. Well, if you sweated at all that is.** She was rambling and I could finally understand what she meant by the human mind not being clear. Her thoughts jumped from one to another. She was simply thinking, part of her knowing that she was doing it, so that I could learn from this experience. So, I tuned her out.

There was a burst of pride from Sookie. I couldn't hear her anymore, but I wondered if she could still hear me. I refocused and asked her.

**Yes, Eric. I could still hear all of your thoughts. You have to shut yourself in and me out.** I understood her completely because I was in her head.

I could have spent the entire drive playing with the telepathic connection but I needed to call Pam. She would waken and find Sookie missing. Sookie closed her end of the connection to give me privacy, and I closed my end so that nothing could slip through. Sookie was right. I could control my thoughts and emotions better than anyone else she knew.

I felt my child stir, and I dialed her number before she was fully awake.

"Master. I have just left ground." She was still pulling herself from the dirt.

"Gather every vampire loyal to me and gather outside of Barbara Ann's. A Were named Philip will be meeting you. You are not engage until I get there."

"That won't leave a lot of time before daylight."

"I know. But I don't plan on a take-over, just a rescue."

"That won't be as much fun."

"But, it will ensure that we don't get Raul breathing down de Castro's neck, causing him to breathe down ours. Plus, we still can hope for a little bloodshed this way. Of course, I could always simply walk in and take my bonded back from her and then press formal charges."

"How would you press for. . . She drank from the vial. The bond has been reformed!" She said the last part to the gathering of vampires that were around her by that time. There were some congratulations muttered, knowing that I would hear. Pam put me on speaker so I could give out directions. Plans were laid out, and sadly very little bloodshed would be needed. I was going to get the answer to my prayers after all. 


	9. Pride, Anger, and a Dash of Revenge

**A/N: Okay, so I'm going to mix the past and present in this one, italics is what happened during the day, regular at night. I just wanted to play with the structure a bit - let me know if it was just a pain.

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**

"Did you speak with him?" Philip whispered.

"Oh ye of little faith. Of course, I spoke with him. The bond is opened, as I said it was" If I sounded a little preachy it was because after all the hallelujahs I had truly seen the light.

He just smiled at me and nodded his head. Philip was a kind man, despite the circumstances I found myself in.

x-o-x-o-x

_ "What are you doing?" He choose the instant the damn vial was in my hand to notice me. Fuck Murphy and his stupid law. _

_ "I wanted to hold my necklace. I'm scared, it helps."_

_ "Uh-huh. If you say so girlie. But, I'd wait to break open that vial if I were you. Someone still has to mop up the blood of that idiot. We won't be alone long." _

_ Someone knocked on the cellar door. Philip smiled at me in a kindly way._

_ It was those two young guys again, Steven and David, with mops and buckets of water. As they mopped I watched Philip. How the hell had he known about the blood in the vial? Alexander had always been able to smell Eric on me, but he didn't realize it was from the vial. Of course, when I had been out every last one of them had the opportunity to get close enough to inspect every inch of me. That was probably it. But, something pulled on my mind. I had to take a peek. I concentrated hard on Philip. He must have noticed my focus because he locked his eyes with mine. His internal voice became clear and I was met with absolute contrition and promise. He wanted to help me._

_x-o-x-o-x_

"How long before Barbara Anne comes down here?" I needed to prepare my speech for her.

"She was to have dinner first. I think she was meeting with someone else tonight, but she pushed that meeting back when Alexander came to her last night. Half an hour, maybe longer, maybe sooner. The other Weres will be coming soon. Will you be alright?" I raised my eyebrows at him. "Yeah, I know. Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Thank-you but no. My friends need to know they can trust you. Just go ahead and meet them. Eric is still hours away, please tell them not to do anything until I give this a shot."

"Okay. Good luck." Philip re-opened his book and resumed ignoring me.

x-o-x-o-x

_ Steven and David finally left. Philip dropped his book, looked over at me, and waited for me to speak first. _

_ "Why do you want to help me?" I was going to be skeptical until I knew all the answers._

_ "My daughter." He pulled out his wallet and showed me a picture of a girl who had to be no more than five years old._

_ "She's beautiful."_

_ "Thank-you. Barbara Ann is ruthless. She is sending us out almost once a week to get rid of an area vampire for her. She often sends the ones with most experience across area lines. Within her own area is one thing, but to get caught across lines is an automatic death sentence." He nodded back to the picture, "Her mother died about a month ago in a raid against a nest near the Florida border. I'm the only one my little girl has left. I won't let her lose her father for some stupid vampire. I've heard of Eric. If there was a vampire worth swearing fealty to, it would be him."_

_ "So you help me, swear fealty, and I assume you want protection as well?" I hadn't done many, but I already hated negotiations. It seemed like there was some big gaps that I was missing._

_ "Yes. I want assurance that my daughter will be provided for should something happen to me. I will work for Eric, but I don't want to do something that seems sketchy."_

_ "Sketchy as in a suicide mission."_

_ "Yes."  
_

_"But you don't think Eric goes in for those kinds of things anyway."_

_ "Correct."_

_ "Could you get someone into the compound?"  
_

_"Of course."_

_ "Good, here's what I need you to do."_

_x-o-x-o-x_

Yet another Were that had been acting as my daytime guard came in to take over for Philip. This guy was O'Kelley, surname only thank-you very much, and I had given him plenty of glasses of lemonade over this summer. I don't care if it's Eric, I won't ever be nice to someone playing body guard again.

**I heard that, Lover.**

** Shut it.**

I clamped down harder on my shields. It wouldn't do to have Eric so mad he couldn't think straight. Two Weres betraying Eric, and I said a quick prayer for Alcide in case he was also behind this shit, would give Eric much more than an excuse to loose himself to bloodlust. I remembered the battle at Sophie-Anne's. I felt a surge of pride and lust at the memory of Eric in the joy of a battle. I opened back up.

**My husband?**

** Yes, Lover.**

** I need you, please hurry.** I filled the bond with every lustful thought I had ever had of him.

** I do need to drive. I'll be there soon, Miss Impatient.**

I closed back down after feeling his returning lust. I hoped the Corvette could handle the strain he was putting on the poor thing.

O'Kelley smelled the rise in my pheromones. Well, shit. He came over closer to me. As he inhaled he caught the new smell on me as well. His eyes grew wide. His eyes locked on the vial and saw that it was completely empty. He howled and was quickly joined by three other Weres.

x-o-x-o-x

_ I explained to Philip that I was going to merely explain to Barbara Anne that I had recently reformed my bond with Eric (which I would do as soon as I could explain to Philip) and that if she let me walk out of the compound on my own, Eric would not retaliate in any way. Philip didn't think it would work. I didn't think it would work, but I really, really didn't want it to end in bloodshed (at least not from anyone I cared about). Although, from all reports, Barbara Anne well deserved to meet final death. But, this was supposed to be about politics not warfare. There was a reason why Eric lived as long as he did, and I was willing to lay down money that it had something to do with knowing when not to engage in battle (even if he really hoped it would happen). _

I finally asked him what he knew about the vial. He confirmed that they had gotten close enough to realize that the smell was coming from the vial and not from my skin. "It makes you smell like you were marked, but not recently. Even if you drank it, you've been in here all day, she won't believe that the blood bond has been re-opened."

_I explained the purpose of the vial and he looked like a kid in a candy shop. He had only heard of the concept of a blood bond and was extremely interested in hearing more about it. So, I told him how a bond was formed and everything that went into it._

_ It felt odd to trust with someone with that information, but his mind was clear for me to read. Every time I told him something he found interesting he'd perk up and do a mental happy dance. I finally giggled as I realized he reminded me of the goofy, smiling, poorly-dressed scientists I would see on a documentary discussing the possibility of the existence of wormholes or something like that._

_ "Philip, what do you do for a living? Or, what did you want to do?" I had to ask._

_ "I met my wife in the Anthropology Department at the University of Chicago. Since we were both pure Weres we decided to study the supernatural community. My wife, Scarlet, focused her research on Weres, while I focused on Vampires. We would often work together to study the interaction and the interdependence of the Were and Vampire community. We were both particularly interested in how each group seems to be connected to the other in the way of survival. The numbers of Vampire and Were go up and down throughout history, and the numbers are directly related."_

_ "Slow it down, I didn't make it past high school and that was awhile back." _

_ Philip laughed good naturally, without an ounce of condescension. "As the numbers of Vampire increase so does the number of Weres and vice versa."_

_ "Gotcha. And you want to know why?"_

_ "Yes. We all need one another, it's a shame that most of us can't see that."_

_x-o-x-o-x_

O'Kelley barked orders for Unknown Guard Number 1 (UGN-1) to shift and plant himself in front of me. UGN-2 was told to report to Barbara Anne and tell her she needed to get down her immediately. UGN-3 was sent to find Philip, who I sincerely hoped had already met up with Pam.

"What the fuck happened?" O'Kelley was towering over me. I wanted to spit in his face, but that probably went against the staying relatively unharmed plan, so I looked down at the floor and refused to answer him. "Why do you smell like vampire? Why is that vial empty? Who has been in here?" O'Kelley was angry, but he was also freaking out on the inside. He was the one in charge, he'd have to bare a good bit of the burden of the blame.

I continued to stare at the ground. UGN-1 snapped dangerously close at my toes. I flinched backwards with enough force to cause the chair to wobble. I was still against the wall from earlier, so I didn't have to worry about fully tipping over. I was positive that none of the Weres would mind if my head had hit the concrete. O'Kelley grabbed my face roughly in one large hand and forced my face upwards.

"What the fuck is going on?" I was glad that he hadn't used any words with a "p" sound as he had practically spat his words at me.

"I won't talk to anyone but Barbara Anne." And then I shut my mouth and waited for the blow.

He smacked me hard enough to tip the chair over sideway, and my head did hit concrete, but it was after my shoulder, so luckily I wasn't hurt much, but it was enough that I let go of my shields for a moment. I felt a surge of anger from Eric.

**I'm fine. Stay out of my head. I mean it. Concentrate on getting here.** And I shut back down. Now it was my turn to keep him out. I would have more fun with that later. For now, keeping Eric out was a necessity.

"Pick her up now and get out." Barbara Anne walked into the room and everyone else got right on out.

x-o-x-o-x

_The entire time we were talking, I was still holding the vial in my hands. I felt the power of Eric's blood and wondered if it wasn't purely in my head, like a security blanket. Was I using him as my personal knight in shining armor? If I didn't do this, how would he find me. If he came to Barbara Anne for help, would he know to accuse her. I was still technically his mate, even if I wasn't his bonded, what kind of rights did that secure for Eric in regards to protecting me? Philip said immediate death if he was caught across area lines, but did that also count for vampires. An even bigger question; would lines matter as I was taking up residence in her area? Stupid me for not drinking from the vial the night Pam gave it to me. Stupid me for not picking up and leaving with Pam that night. Why didn't I? Because I wanted to prove that I could live without my vampire, that I wasn't addicted. If I could keep him at bay, when I knew we both wanted each other, surely that proved that I wasn't destined to become his Renfield, right? Stupid pride always kicking in and getting in the way. I should have swallowed that bitter pill years ago._

_ I twisted the top off of the vial, bent my head to my hands, and placed the vial to my lips. I paused and looked at Philip. "Be my witness." He looked confused, but nodded his head. "Eric, I make this choice of my own free will. I accept you and love you and give myself to you. I am yours." I swallowed the contents of the vial and felt an explosion inside of me. Every particle of my being was on fire in such a delicious way. I closed my eyes and dropped my head backwards, just feeling the surge of the magic. _

_ While I had not actually spoken to Amelia since I left Bon Temps, I had exchanged a few emails back and forth with her concerning the reformation of the bond. She had eventually uncovered people who had chosen to reform the bond. So I was prepared for the bond to be stronger, I was prepared for the connection to run so deep I would be able to hear him, and for him to hear me, I was prepared to be able to feel him as a physical presence, and I was prepared to be able to be able to feel how far away he was, no matter how far away he got. I was prepared with knowledge, but I really wasn't ready for the actual experience. The strength of the magic reduced me to tears; it was the most beautiful feeling in the world. The whole that had been created within my being six months ago was not only filled, but was overflowing, filling up the rest of me until I was bubbling over with pure happiness. The bubbling feeling would eventually cease, like the blue energy when the bond had been broken, but instead of the void, I would be filled with Eric._

_x-o-x-o-x_

"Alright now, you gonna tell me what in the sam-fucking-hill has happened here today?" Barbara Anne's Southern accent came out a little more than normal.

"I told you I was pledged to Eric Northman, Sheriff of Area 5 in the State of Louisanna, what right do you have taking me against my will, without the permission of my Sheriff and my pledged?" Husband was a human term, and now more than ever, it was time to play the rules of the court.

"I'm the authority here, human. Don't make me regret not having you beaten. Answer my question."

"You answer mine. I followed all the rules, Barbara Anne. You are breaking many. Unless you have the protection of several rulers, you best start watching your back."

She stepped up and grabbed my throat and squeezed, "I want to know why you smell of him."

"Our bond has been reopened." I choked out in a gasp.

"Liar." She dropped her hand. "How? I know for a fact he was sitting on his golden perch last night."

"Does it fucking matter?" I laced my words with as much exasperation and contempt as I could possibly summon. "Eric never left me unguarded for a moment. Eric will not leave me unprotected now. You have put yourself in a very precarious situation, Barb." Want to know how to annoy a vampire, give them a pet name that they don't approve of, makes them feel human, degraded. Pisses them off faster than smacking a hornet's nest.

"You little bitch, you will speak to me with respect." She back handed me and the chair flew across the room. I hit my head on the wall and I lost a few moments.

I awoke to Eric's voice, **Sookie, are you all right?** I could feel his concern over riding anger, for the moment.

**Yes. **And I closed my side of the bond.

"You need to understand that when my pledged arrives he will be seeking revenge to the fullest extent. He's nine hundred years older than you, and as malicious as you think you are, I can promise he will know ways to make you beg for final death."

"Well, if that's your waking thought, then perhaps I can show you how malicious I can be."

Stupid. Fucking. Vampires. She took a knife and sliced her way through major and minor muscle she could reach in my cramped position. She never cut deep enough to inflict major damage, she was trying to cause pain. She did, after all, wish for me to work for her.

When she had paused, I screamed at her, "Why the fuck are ignoring his smell on me?"

"Because it is a trick. You can't break a bond that was never formed."

Oh fuck. How the fuck do I talk sense into an idiot, and better yet, how the FUCK had she even become a sheriff? I was quickly finding my new favorite word.

"I was really, really hoping no one would have to die tonight. Hope you enjoy your after life."

**Eric, she's torturing me.** I opened the bond so he could finally feel my pain.

**Pam is on her way.**

He had hardly finished his thought when I heard screams and gun-fire and a small explosion. Barbara Anne untied me and held me in front of her, one arm tightly around me, locking me in place, and the other held the knife to my throat. Eric was getting everything via Sookievision and he was P-I-S-S-E-D. I could hear the command he issued to Pam.

I smiled, "Barbara Anne, go to your maker." Pam rushed through the door and with absolute skill shot a silver bullet straight into the forehead of my captor.

Pam smiled at me as she walked over and pulled a stake from off a holster on her thigh. Her fangs were fully retracted and she was covered in both blood and black goo. She spun the stake in her hand and then offered it to me. Barbara Anne would slowly suffer to death, but Pam was giving me the option of revenge. I smiled back at her, took the stake, and pressed it into the bitch's chest.

Lust and pride warred with Eric's emotions as he "witnessed" what happened. Pam picked me up and carried me to a car. She ran through a crowd of fighting vampires, but I noticed that all the Weres were already dead. Mmmh, I couldn't find it in me to care. I was going to have to do some serious praying for my soul.

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**A/N: Okay, so I promised some of you that the heart to heart was coming in this chapter - but this chapter wouldn't allow it. I swear, I have had that conversation done for awhile and I'm just trying to get to it. All that's left is to get Sookie to Eric, and let's face it, at this point the world would have to end for that not to happen. Happy Reading!**


	10. Pull on My Hair and Bite Me Like That

**A/N: Holy words Northman - I thought this chapter would never end.**

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Philip was waiting by the car. I was grateful that he had been spared. He looked as nervous as lobster waiting for the pot. Pam deposited me in the front seat, yelled out a command, and then got into the driver's seat and took off. Motorcycles and cars filled with vampires scattered, and I saw one of two bodies take to the sky.

**Lover, I'll see you soon.** He didn't shut down the bond, but he closed off his thoughts so he could talk to Pam.

Her phone rang, and she put the phone to her ear with a big smile on her face.

"We are fine." Her eyes glanced over at me. "She's a bit of a mess, but she'll be fine until she sees you. No, nothing serious." I felt relief flood over me. Pam's smile grew wider as she answered the next question, "Yes." Lust flowed over me so strong that my body reacted and caught the attention of both Pam and Philip.

I shook my head violently, "Not me, it's him."

Philip cleared his throat and looked out the window, but Pam laughed out loud. she had a beautiful laugh, but at that moment, it grated on my nerves. I glared at her, wondering what the hell she was answering to. She smirked at me in response.

"Are you still on 20?" If Pam wanted to know how close Eric was, I could tell her - too far away. "Very well, we will meet at the Midnight." She closed the phone and looked at me with a smirk.

"What?" My voice was flat, prepared for her ribbing.

"You will be in for a long night, my friend."

I bit my lip in a vain attempt not to smile too much at the idea. Pam made a point to inhale loudly, again smelling the rise in my pheromones. "Okay, this time it's me. Shut it." Philip laughed that time.

Pam's phone rang a second time. "Pam." She paused. "Very good." She hung up the phone and met Philip's eyes in the rearview mirror. "Your daughter is secured. We will pick her up just outside of city limits. We will be meeting Eric in Atlanta. As Sookie and Eric get reacquainted," I rolled my eyes, "I will be taking you shopping to get you some basic clothes for you and your daughter. Eric will speak with you at some point this evening, exactly when will really be up to Sookie."

"Oh, for goodness sakes, Pam." I dropped my head into my hands

"Thank-you." Philip put everything he had into those two words and he addressed it to Pam, me, and God all at once.

Pam's face softened for a moment. "You're welcome, Philip."

We picked up a red-faced Lucy less than fifteen minutes later. Pam had only looked slightly uncomfortable at the small girl's tears, but when Philip actually teared up, Pam looked down right scared. I snickered at her, and she shot her wide eyes at me but didn't say anything to me. The four hour drive to Atlanta was filled with Lucy's whimper and Philip's smooth voice singing her lullabies. I simply basked in the feel of Eric's mind, as he did in mine.

We were about an hour from Atlanta when Eric apologized for having to deal with business and shut down his side of the bond. I closed my end so I wouldn't just be sitting there waiting for him. After half an hour, Pam's phone rang again.

"Yes." She listened for a moment. "Yes." She hung up the phone and looked up in the rearview mirror. "We are needed to meet with the king, I will be dropping you off at the Midnight, you have a room in your name and full charging privileges. Call the front desk for anything you need, and whatever they can not get you, we will be sure to provide upon our return."

"Yes, thank-you." Philip answered.

Pam turned to me, "I'm sorry, you will be having a long night. You will have to discuss your role in tonight's events." She glanced over her shoulder to ensure by sight that Lucy was sleeping. "Philip your part will not be mentioned. I'm to give you the option of placing a glamour on you that ensures you will remember tonight as a lucky escape."

"No, thank-you. While I have no doubt your Sheriff would remember my actions, I would like to do so as well." Philip answered a little stiffly but with respect.

"And your daughter?"

"No, this is her life. She must learn how to survive it."

Pam nodded. "Sookie, you are not to mention that Philip spoke to you at all. Tell exactly what happened other than that small detail. We would have gotten in, even without his help." I remembered the explosion. "We will not be lying, only choosing which truth to speak."

"I understand, Pam." I answered.

"Good."

We dropped off Philip and Lucy and made our way to the compound in an extremely well to do neighborhood. I could feel Eric getting closer, like I was being pulled toward him. Once we were actually in the same building it was all I could do not to stop myself from running to find him. Pam held my hand, lightly, to remind me that I should be watching myself.

Our escort led us to a huge office where the king of Georgia sat on one side of a ginormous desk. Eric was standing in front of the king, but his eyes were glued to mine. There was burst of joy that came from the both of us at seeing one another again. I didn't care that we were surrounded by vampires, one of whom had been the boss of my dearly departed captor, I ran to him and jumped into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and I buried my face into his neck. Our minds were as wrapped around each other as I was around his body. I breathed in his scent. I quickly licked his neck and then resumed a more appropriate position. I held his hand as I stood by his side and gave my attention to the king.

"Good Evening, Raul. It is a pleasure to see you again." **Good evening, my husband**.

**Min elsker**. He forgot to think in English, but he felt my confusion. Yay, bond. **My lover.** The Swedish words ran through my head, and I made a note to remember them. He was pleased.  
"Sookie, you have not been to visit me since your arrival. I had thought you had forgotten all about us vampires. But it seems," and here Raul shot Eric a devious smile, "that I was mistaken."

"Your majesty, it was not that I had forgotten, but rather that I was just trying to live human for awhile. I realize that that statement might be viewed as a white lie as I was surrounded constantly by vamps or Weres, but I mean that I was intentionally trying not to call any more attention to myself than normal. For me, that means quietly accepting body guards that my bonded mate had provided for me."

I could feel Eric's swell in pride and he squeezed my hand ever so softly and began tracing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. I wasn't surprised to find that this still lead in a straight path to my hootchie. Unfortunately, every vampire in the room could smell my arousal. Pam snickered, and Eric stopped rubbing, but with a nudge and a thought, he realized I didn't care one iota about that. It was slightly embarrassing, but it did reinforce my place with him. I merely held my head higher.

"Interesting. I had heard that you did not have a blood bond with this human. How is it that I came to be some grossly misinformed? She clearly smells of you." You've just got to love how vampires can deliver lines like that with absolutely no emotion. And how they can look right at you, speak about you, and act as if you weren't standing right there in front of them.

"Your majesty, many choose to believe what they want to believe in order to gain something that does not belong to them. Barbara Anne was made aware of my status with my human. Both Sookie and I spoke with Barbara Anne on this matter." Eric spoke in a low, reverent voice.

"I see." He turned his chocolate brown eyes toward me. "Ms. Stackhouse, I wo-"

"I'm sorry your majesty. Please, it's Ms. Stackhouse-Northman." I felt Eric stand a little taller, which physically I thought was impossible.

"I see. Well, Ms. Stackhouse-Northman, I would like to know your part in all of this. How is it that my very abled Sheriff kidnapped you and then managed to meet her final death at your hands."

Eric sent me reassuring thoughts and I told the king everything that had happened over the last twenty-four hours or so. I didn't need to be reminded about Philip, and as he played a very small part anyway, it was easy to gloss over what happened.

Hours later, okay two hours and forty seven and a half minutes (but, honestly I wasn't keeping track), Eric, Pam, and I were all being dismissed. Raul declared that Barbara Anne had acted on her own and her death, while unfortunate (I gritted my teeth at that sentiment) was not only to be expected but demanded. I was within my own rights to end her, but Eric as Sheriff in a very large kingdom was well within his rights to demand retribution from Raul for my injuries. Eric had of course declined anything more than a simple night's peace in his kingdom.

I held Eric's hand the entire way back to the car, but I held my head high and met the eye of every passing vampire or human that we happened to pass. Once we got into the car, Eric practically held me in his lap (as much as the seat belt that he clicked into place for me would allow). At the Midnight, Pam said goodnight and we checked into separate hotel rooms.

Eric held me close to his body as we walked into one of the largest suites I had ever been in. Why on God's green Earth he had chosen this room for one night was far beyond me. Hell, even if we were staying for a month, all we would really need was a bed, but I even doubted we would need that much. I would have been perfectly content with soft carpet.

Eric changed my mind on my level of contentment when he guided me to the bathroom and ran water in a bathtub that was looked like it was made for two people of Eric's size. He hadn't said one word to me, verbally or mentally, since Raul's office, but the bond was open and flowing full of love. He slowly took off my clothes and helped me into the bathtub. He removed his own clothes much faster and joined me in the hot water.

Eric slowly kissed every inch of me, and he made sure to give special attention to the bruised areas of my body. He carefully massaged soap on my sore muscles, and I could have easily fallen into a coma right there in the bathtub. Once he washed my hair, he wrapped me in a robe and carried me to the bed. He carefully laid me down and again began placing kissing along my body.

He began with my toes and only paused his slow ascent when he reached my mound. He explored my topography with his lips, tongue and fangs. He brought me almost to the edge and then resumed, with an annoyingly slow pace (my annoyance pleased him to no end), his upward journey until he reached my breasts. His topography lesson include his hands this time. I could feel that he wanted to bite me, but was holding off, waiting until the optimum moment. He finally reached my mouth. Our lips touched for the first time in half a year and that kiss was the detonator for a very large and complicated series of explosions. The time for slow romantic gestures was gone. My hands which had been slowly gripping and releasing the sheets, grasped his hair and pulled. His body pressed against mine as he growled into my mouth. He wrapped his arms around me and rolled us so that I was laying on top of him. Without breaking the kiss, he sat us up and wrapped my legs around his gorgeous body.

He paused for a moment and stared me in the eyes. There was a question in that moment, a hope, a desire, but a question. My silent answer was full of need, desire, desperation to be closer, and an offering of myself. He entered me slowly, never breaking our eye contact. As our bodies merged so did our minds. We were complete in a way that we had never been before. We rocked our bodies in a lovely contrast with the same tempo. I ran my fingernails down his back as he kissed my bruised throat. I wrapped my fingers in his blond hair and pulled his lips back to mine. I nipped his bottom lip and his body responded with an intensity of movement. As I got nearer to my climax I pulled his hair from off of his neck and did the same with mine. We placed our mouths to each other's necks and bit at the same time. The flow of his blood into my mouth was something higher than a religious experience, and through my gulps, I moaned my pleasure. Our bodies shuddered in unison. We stayed upright on the bed while I lazily licked the healing wounds on his neck.

Eric reached up and held my face in his hands, "Sookie, I am yours."

I pulled my body closer to his and replied, "As I am yours." We began again exactly where we left off.

x-o-x-o-x

We had only about two hours left until dawn when he finally broke me. I laughed at his pretend disappointment. I made a show of wrapping up in the blankets that at some point had been pushed off onto the floor, and then waggled my finger.

"Oh, no, Mr. Viking Sex God, mere mortals are not designed to go all night. If you leave me alone now, how about I promise to fuck you in your Corvette on the side of the highway, before we make love at the next vampire friendly hotel?"

"If that's the kind of deal I'll get, I have no problem waiting. Especially if I can fuck you before we check out."

"You drive a hard bargain Mr. Northman."

"Ah, Ms. Stackhouse-Northman," he pulled me against his body as he emphasized his part of my last name, "I could give you something harder, but as you've had enough tonight, I must improvise."

"You like that huh?" He gleaned the meaning of my question from my head.

"Yes, Lover. I enjoy very much hearing you tell other vampires that you are mine." His eyes glittered with pride, but then his eyes, like his mind, darkened and he asked the question I had very much wanted to put off until after we had gotten settled in at home. "Sookie, why him? Why did you sleep with that Were?"

I looked hard into his eyes, "I am so sorry that I caused you pain with my choice to take someone to bed. You're reaction though, when Pam told you it was a Were - it was like that the real problem with my bed partner was the fact that he was a Were, not that I had slept with someone else."

"You are correct. I understood your leaving for what it was. You left me. I admit that at first, I hoped you would come back. For the first month, my pride told me that you would come back. I should have known your stubbornness and pride would help you stay away." He said this last part with frustration that was directed at himself. "After you went to bed with the Were for the first time, I destroyed my office, but when Pam asked me what I had expected to happen when I pushed you away, I was crushed. Not because of your choice, but because I had to add something to a very short list of regrets. It was my poorly chosen words that caused you to leave that night. I should have talked to you about why you wanted to break the bond. I don't blame you for any of your choices, how many times have you called me high-handed because I acted without discussing my intentions with you. In the end, it was a just dessert."

"So, you forgive me for sleeping with someone?" I asked with shock.

"Of course. I would have rather that person been a person and not a Were, but . . ." He shrugged.

"You know I choose to sleep with him because I couldn't read him right? I mean maybe you didn't know that, but you can understand that right? That first night, I had been drinking and he kissed me, and I just wanted to be held. I wanted to be needed physically. I gave in. The next morning I felt like shit, because it wasn't what I needed emotionally. The next month I ended up breaking down in the bar because Justinia had asked me to work for Barbara Anne, again. I had wanted so badly to get away from vampires. When I had broke the bond it wasn't to leave you, it was just to have myself back. But, when I did leave, I wanted to get away from all of them. That night was particularly hard, and when Justinia asked, I just had a melt down in the locker room. Alexander came in to check on me and I wanted to feel claimed, so I kissed him. Maybe it was your fault," I winked at him and he understood I was playing, "trying to stake a claim every time another vampire wanted my services. I just knew that if I had his smell on me that it would put Justinia off. It wasn't one of my most brilliant moments I agree." I heard his disapproval of my reason in his head. "Especially since after that night, Barbara Anne started to have me followed. Anyway, what started out as just a kiss led to sex."

"You had sex in public!" His tone was not an angry one, it was a hopeful one. He filled me with images of the many public places he would gladly fuck me.

"Yes, and I'm not proud of it. Not with him. I'll give some consideration to those places. The third time -"

"Lover, you're talking to much. You can count the number of men you've taken to bed on one hand. You do not have to justify each and every time to me. You would be old and gray if I were to even begin to speak to you about the women I've taken to bed. I understand. Remember Sookie, I am Vampire. Sex is merely a physical release. If you needed it, you needed it."

"Did you take anyone to bed while I was gone?" I was merely curious.

"No."

"So you didn't need a release while I was gone."

"If I needed the release I had sex with Pam."

He was so matter of fact about it. I shook my head. "Really?"

"Yes. She is vampire so she understood. I did not force her. She willingly gave herself after I asked nicely."

"That's just kind of gross. I just always see you guys as more of a brother and sister."

Eric laughed for a long time. "You understand then why I don't look at it as taking someone to bed. It was merely a release for the both of us."

I had an unwanted and gag inducing thought of Jason asking me for a release and I quickly put the topic back on Alexander. "So, you understand about the Were?"

"Partly. I can understand in that you don't share in our general dislike against weres and shifters, but that Were was as bad as the Fellowship, Sookie. What could possibly have induced you to be okay with that?" He sounded exasperated, like he didn't expect an answer.

"Because he was justified in his hatred, at least He used to live here in Atlanta. His Dad worked for the Raul as a daytime guard. The sheriffs staged an uprising and used their own weres to attack during the day. His dad was killed, and Alexander blamed the source. The vampires that attacked and the vampires that his dad was protecting. He was twelve. His mom moved him to Savannah. But at seventeen, he was injured past the point of death. She went to Carla," Eric nodded that he recognized the old Sheriff of Area Two, "and asked for blood for him. She promised her services in place of Alexander; Carla agreed. But the same year Barbara Anne led an insurrection against Carla and won. During that battle, Alexander's mom was killed. Again, he blamed the source. I understand."

Eric still didn't look like he understood, but when had he ever understood stuff like that. I tried to approach it from a different angle.

"Why do vampires despise weres?" I asked.

"It is a centuries old conflict. One from prehistory."

"So before you, then?"

"Yes."

"So, you despise all weres based on something that doesn't even pertain to you? And yet, you don't understand why he hates vampires for taking away two of the most important people in his life? What if someone acted on orders to destroy Pam and me? Would you stop at just the person who carried out the orders, or would you go to the source?"

"Lover, for once, your empathy and logic run hand in hand. Yes, I would go to the source, as you call it. However, I do not despise all weres and supes." I gave him a look of disbelief. "Okay, maybe I'm predisposed to not like them, but I have worked with Sam, Alciede, and my own followers were willing to work alongside the Weres during the witch war. We understand the danger of allowing prejudices to cloud our judgement. The weres generally do not stop to think about those things. They are creatures ruled by anger. We are creatures ruled by our desire to continue our existence."

"Says the Viking warrior who gets a hard-on just thinking about a fight."

"It's like these teenager fangbangers say; VBS, baby."

"That statement seems wrong on several levels, but what the hell is VBS?

"Violence, blood, and sex."

I shook my head and refused to wonder if he had actually had a teenager; I knew full well I wouldn't like the answer. I understood that a thousand years ago a person was considered an adult at a much younger age than today.

"I never took you for one to follow the fads of teenagers." I stood up to get some water from the bathroom.

"I have to know my consumer base." He grinned at me, "I'd prefer to follow that ass of yours."

I narrowed my eyes at him, as I drank my water. I leaned in the door frame, watching him ogle at my body. His eyes finally made their way back to my own. A soft look came over his face, and he held out his arms to me. I walked back to him with my own smile. I snuggled into his arms.

"Eric, thank-you for forgiving me. For understanding. I'm sorry that I allowed my pride and stubbornness to get in the way. I swear to you that I will not run anymore."

**You couldn't if you tried, Lover.**

I smiled up at him. "Very true. But at least now you know that I don't want to even try."

"That my Sookie is worth the pain of not seeing you these past months. Why do you feel sad?" I had closed my thoughts quickly as an unwelcome thought intruded.

"Ah, this bond. It is going to be both a blessing and a huge curse. I was thinking about how the bond was reformed. You know how happy I am to be bonded to you, but I am sad about the reason I drank from the vial; the timing."

"I do not understand."

"The last time we formed the bond, my hand, or I should say your blood, was forced. Would you, at that time, have willingly entered a blood bond with me?"

"I had not thought about it. I was content with feeling you. I was still very selfish at that time. As soon as we were connected I knew it was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I am sorry that I flaunted in front of Quinn though. I embarrassed you during a very stressful time, that is on the top of my short list of regrets."

"Really it was such a you thing to do, a show of power to a man you felt as a threat, that I wasn't so much as embarrassed by what you did as what I was forced to do by Andre. It was the whole situation. I wanted this time to be different. I wanted to reform the bond once we were together. I made do with the best I was given, I made my pledge to you, and you can talk to Philip as he was my witness, but I wanted to give myself to you in much the way I did tonight."

"Lover, you did the right thing. I would not have been able to find you had you not done what you did. While I might have suspected Barbara Anne at some point, the Weres would have been the only thing we could smell in your apartment. We would have hunted them first, and who knows what would have happened to you." His thoughts turned brooding. "Why would you have asked Philip to witness you drinking my blood? What do you mean your pledge to me? We are pledged, nothing changed that."

"How much did Amelia tell you?"

Eric chuckled for a moment. "Yes, I did go to the witch. All we could get out of her was that one drop was all it would take to reform the bond. She told us that there weren't many success stories. That was all she knew."

"I'm not saying she lied to you, but she didn't tell you everything. The magic that forms the bond is doubled upon re-opening the bond. we have essentially formed two bonds that are working together as one. That's why we can literally feel each other, hear each other, know how far the other is. Also, because the magic is doubled, there will be no turning back this time. There is no way to break a double bond. So whether I like it or not, I'm yours forever." I batted my eyelashes and put on a slightly pouting look.

He leaned down and nipped my lip.

"Oh, fuck me Eric. Seriously, just cause I want you, doesn't mean I can take it."

"Just because you can't, doesn't mean I can't enjoy teasing you. Now tell me about the pledge."

"Meanie." I had to take a deep breath to calm my nerves. "The bond would have been stronger than last time anyway, but it was discovered that if the bond was formed out of love versus out of necessity the love enhances the magic further. I wanted to form the bond when we were in the throws of passion because that's the one place that we have both been completely honest with one another holding nothing back. But, since I had to do it out of need I said a vow to you: Eric, I make this choice of my own free will. I accept you and love you and give myself to you. I am yours." My words were cut off with his lips pressing hard against my mouth.

"And you asked Philip to witness your words?"

"Yes." He pressed his lips to my mouth again. I would have just listened, but he wasn't saying anything, he was just full of love and happiness.

"Sookie, you did everything perfectly. If you truly meant the words and you had them witnessed that's all it takes. I don't have to know about the bond to understand magic of this nature. A vow is a vow, the fact that you had a witness cemented the vow, you are truly my pledged. I love you."

"I love you."

"Will you live with me? Will you lay with me as the sun takes me for the day? Will you stay with me?"

I understood the meaning to that last question well enough. "Eric, I offered myself to you on my couch. When I made that offer I wasn't thinking clearly, I admit that, but I have had plenty of time to consider that offer." I paused for dramatic effect. "I will live with you. I will lay with you as the sun claims you for the day. I will stay with you, but I don't want that just yet."

"Sookie, I have never thought the idea of waiting was particularly pleasant. I have always been a patient vampire though. I will wait for you. And in the mean time, I will enjoy exhausting you every night."

"Thank-you Eric. You will be the first to know when I've made the decision."

Eric chuckled lightly and kissed my forehead. "Yes, I guess I will be."

And with that we let dawn take us both.

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**A/N: I pulled this title from the song Pull My Hair by Bright Eyes, which is all about rediscovering passion in a relationship. It happened to be playing while I was writing this and I thought it was appropriate. **


	11. You Look Like Jesus, You Talk Like Jesus

Eric PoV

I could feel her before I woke. She wasn't beside me, she wasn't even in the same room, but I could feel her as is if she were wrapped around my body. Well, if I could ever find a silver lining for her breaking the bond, this was it.

She was humming off key to herself, sitting on the sofa in the sitting room while reading a book. She had her hair tied in loose braid hanging over her shoulder, and she was wearing nothing more than my shirt. She looked absolutely fucking perfect. She didn't look up from her reading, but I could hear her focus on the words as she merely waved at me. I laughed at her trying to be so nonchalant. Her mouth pulled upwards in a smirk. She focused harder on the words, moving her lips.

I pictured her in a sex swing and waited. She dropped her book and blushed from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes. I could feel her shock, her embarrassment, and her curiosity flare. I crossed the room and sat her in my lap.

"Is that something you would want to try?" I put as much lust into my words as I pushed through the bond.

"Oh, Lord, give me strength. No, I don't think I could do anything like that. As much as I know you would never do anything that would make me feel degraded, I don't think I could ever look you in the face after that."

I kissed her on the top of the head. "Even if you wanted to, I can think of something much more fun." I sent an image of us cumming together in the air over her house.

"That I might consider. You don't think you might accidentally lose concentration?"

"No, sex with you is automatic." I shrugged.

"Excuse me!"

We laughed together. "I've been flying since I was a very young vampire. It's much different than having to concentrate while driving. I promise it wouldn't even be like multitasking, you will have my complete attention."

"As I said, I'll consider it. When are we to leave?"

"I need to meet with Philip, discuss with him the possibility of being your daytime guard. I will need to give Pam some directions in regards to the vampires that did not survive last night's ordeal. Sookie, what's wrong." I suddenly felt very ill, and I knew it had to be from her.

"Who?"

"Stephano and Maragret, plus three more that you had not met."

I felt her heart break for the two vampires she had come to regard as a sort of bizarre extended family. They had been a source of stability, something that she could connect to her past and still move on from bad memories. It was absolutely amazing knowing what she was feeling and thinking. I could feel her regret, and I finally understood why she felt like she was responsible for the deaths of five vampires. I still didn't agree, but at least I understood. I could see the connections in her mind as she made them, how all of this mess was her fault.

I had always thought it was frustrating but endearing. I hadn't really understood her. I wrapped my arms around her tighter and tried to show her things as I saw it.

x-o-x-o-x

Sookie PoV

The images that Eric sent me, memories, understandings, reasons, were all for me to understand life as he saw it. It was a cold and lonely existence, held together by loose alliances and a desperate need to survive. Vampires banded together for survival. They fought for one another so that they in turn would have someone fight for them. They lived by a system of debts and favors. Human companions were fiercely protected because, before Vampires had come out to the public, a human companion created a sort of safe haven for a vampire to exist without running. Eric showed me the many faces of his companions from over the last thousand years. He showed me how every companion had to be glamoured so that they would forget their fears.

A few bright lights shone in his memories - Pam as his only child and me, truly the first human he had cared about in 1000 years. I asked him about Pam. He showed me every memory he had of her, starting with the first time he had ever seen her.

Pam was walking down a crowded London street in the middle of winter. She had a female chaperone escorting her, who was using the slightest touch to the elbow to guide her around people or messes on the street. At every touch, Pam's jaw would tighten. Even as a human, Pam looked like she wanted to turn around and bite off the hand that had touched her. Eric was amused by the way her prim and rigid Victorian attitude was the softer side. Eric followed Pam until her companion stopped in to a ribbon shop. Pam remained outside, looking distastefully at everything around her. Eric approached her in a very forward manner for the times, and her eyes smoldered with distaste. He glamoured her and went on his way.

He met with her several times, testing the waters by way of various styles of introduction. Pam's memory of the meeting was erased each time. The visits that she could not remember lasted longer and longer. It was two years of these meet-and-forgets until he finally gave into the compulsion to turn her.

I watched through Eric's eyes as Pam snuck home in the darkness. She had no fear about being watched or followed, she only cared about getting home before she was discovered missing from her bed. Eric revealed himself to her. Even without any memories of him, she looked up at the enormous man in front of her and had no fear. Eric closed down the memories before he actually took her blood.

"Thank-you. I really don't think I could have watched that." I breathed into his neck.

"Your welcome. I promise though, I made it as painless as possible. Would you like to see the memories I have of you?"

I quickly shut down my side of the bond. "Oh no. I really doubt I want to know about those first few meetings where it looked like you want to fuck me to death."

"Oh, Lover I still have EVERY intention of fucking you to death." He began placing kisses along my neck.

As his lips and tongue caressed the healing marks I was thinking of the first time I met him. The wild look about him, the look of someone so unattached to his immediate surroundings and yet so in control of the entire room, the way he was both bored with the people and still predatory, all of it, all at the same time it had scared me to death. But I knew it was because even then I had been attracted to him. He had been different from any man I had ever seen. He was truly just himself, a vampire. He held no particular pride nor any shame for what he was. Everyone has doubts about who they are, but not him. Everything in my life from the point I met him could have changed completely, but I knew that he would have remained the constant. He would always be the constant. I understood how important that constant would be for a vampire. I understood why Eric didn't have a single qualm about fighting to the death to keep me safe and at his side. I knew now that I would do the exact same in order to keep him. I clutched Eric closer to me, pressing my fingernails into his skin.

Eric's kiss was interrupted by the knock on the door. Eric helped me off of his lap so I could find my pants and called out to Pam to come in. She wore a huge smile of victory on her face, and I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"Feeling smug about something Pam?" I finally found my pants and pulled them on and went back to Eric's lap.

"You two. I'm happy for you Master, and for you Sookie." She bowed her head very low to us.

"Thank-you." Eric was full of pride for his child. He was thankful for all of her years of companionship. "You have certainly earned yourself a vacation, Pam. Once everything is settle here, you may take some time for yourself. As much of it as you'd like."

"What if I don't come back?" Pam with her dead delivery could have really meant it.

"Then I'll see you the next time I need you. Have you decided to take your leave of me?" Eric asked. His voice held no indication of how he felt, which really was similar to what I guessed a parent feels when discussing the possibility of sending a child across country for college.

"No, not quite yet. Maybe another ten years or so. I think I'll go to Greece for my vacation. Are we still in good standing there?" Pam's voice took on a leering quality.

"To my knowledge yes. I left under amiable terms." Eric was being intentionally vague in front of me. Well, my interest was piqued. I dropped my shields that were still blocking the bond.

I asked, "And, who did you leave behind in Greece?" And there it was, or I should say she was, before he could block the image. "Very pretty." Well that was a lie, the female vampire in his memory was gorgeous. She had long black hair that fell past her waist, bright green eyes, a body that just wouldn't quit, and a laugh that was warm.

"Pam." Eric was unhappy, but I couldn't tell why. Pam looked like she had been scolded and looked away quickly.

"Why are you yelling at her?" I asked.

"Charis and I have not been in contact with one another for over a hundred years." Well, all right then, not the answer I was expecting.

"Did you think I would be jealous of a past lover? Am I jealous of Pam? Have I ever been ugly to any of those groupies that drool in your general direction? Have I ever asked you of your past?" I snorted my questions at him. I was slightly indignant that he would think that of me, but I knew that would have been the normal reaction, but I thought this whole conversation more silly than anything else.

"You told her. Eric, you haven't managed to mess everything up already have you?" Pam gave her normal dead pan delivery, but there was a glint of anger in her eye. I guess she was afraid I was going to stomp out the door like a child.

"Pam, I'm fine with it. Really." Eric didn't look phased, but Pam was in a slight shock at that statement.

"Well, look who's no longer sweet. From all that I've heard, most humans would have felt betrayed," said Pam.

"Even if both of you were human," the look on both Pam and Eric's face caused me to choke back a laugh, "I left Eric. Eric was free to sleep with whomever he wished. He chose someone he cared about rather than some faceless warm blooded toy. To me, that just proves sex without some emotion is empty. He chose his distraction better than I chose mine. Next time, I'll put more thought into it." I started laughing as Eric growled and started gnawing on my neck. Pam's look of disgust quickly morphed into a smirk as my squirming on Eric's laughed did pleasing things to our bodies.

Eric threw me over his shoulder and walked towards the bedroom. I lifted my head and said, "Pam, give us an hour."

"Two." Eric called back over his shoulder and slammed the door behind us.

Exactly two hours later, Pam escorted Philip and Lucy into our room. Lucy looked up at Eric in awe. He smiled down at her. I took her by the hand and we went into the other room and watched cartoons while the "grownups" had their discussions.

When we finally left the hotel, Pam, Philip, and Lucy (with a brand new portable dvd player all of her own) in one car and Eric and me in the other car. After a few hours, Eric suddenly felt extremely horny. He sent out a Command for Pam to continue and then pulled his Corvette off on an abandoned rest stop, and I knew without having to hear his thoughts that he was about to take me up on the second part of our agreement and fuck me in his car. Well, I thought it was going to be in his car, I was only partly wrong, it was on the hood.

He pulled me from out of my seat and draped me over his shoulder, "We need to get Sookie good and warmed up, don't we Lover."

I was bombarded with Eric's memories of the night we went to the orgy looking for Lafayette's killer. He laid me on the hood and leaned over me, placing his weight on his hands on either side of my shoulders.

"Do you like me, Sookie?" Eric asked me.

"Well that depends; do we have anyone watching us this time?"

"No, lover. We are completely alone."

"Well, then." I wrapped my arms around his rib cage and my legs around his waist.

Eric leaned further down and flicked my ear with his tongue, knowing full damn well how much I liked that. My breathing hitched and my body temperature rose a full thirty degrees, I would swear to it. The first time this had happened I had accepted that I wasn't completely immune to Eric (and that should have been one of my first big clues), but I had pushed him away. Not this time.

"Sookie, yield to me." His voice dripped with lust and need.

I reached up and pulled his face away and locked my eyes into his. "I am yours."

He kissed me for all we was worth, and he was worth his weight in diamonds. And then he proceeded to do exactly what he had wanted to that night, in all the positions he had imagined. I'm pretty sure I counted twelve dents in the hood when he finally pulled me from off of my stomach.

"I'm not worried about those, Lover. Let's go find us a nice hotel to stay in for the day shall we?" He winked at me as he handed me my wrinkled pants.

Eric PoV

While Pam, Philip, and the child Lucy made it back to Shreveport the next night, it took Sookie and me a week to finish the ten hour drive. When we weren't fucking on the side of the road (or making love in light-safe hotel rooms), we were discussing the life ahead for Sookie.

She had agreed to move-in with me, and she requested a room that was completely hers. She didn't want her own bedroom (I was ex, just one area of the house that she could call her own, that would be her private sanctuary. I told her she could have the library and she about threw a fit; a good one. She said she couldn't take away my library, so we decided she could take one of the guest rooms and convert it into her own office.

On the fifth night of the drive, I hired her full-time to take care of any daytime business I might need.

"Don't you think Bobby will be a little pissy about that?" She was trying to be polite, but she hated the little fucker's guts. I could see every meeting she had with him, he was an asshole to her.

"Bobby is lucky that I plan on firing him and not devouring him." She nodded her understanding, but she looked a little green from the accidental image of me draining my last daytime person. He was an incompetent fool who had decided that it was time to sell some of my secrets. He had met too quick of an end, but he never got a chance to enjoy the money he received.

"What will I be doing during the night, while you're at work?" Sookie wrapped her naked legs underneath my shirt. Her jeans had been ripped to shreds on the second day back to Shreveport, and we never could find her shirt. I could have stopped to buy her more clothes, but she liked me with my shirt off, and I liked her with her pants off.

I traced a finger around her knee cap. "You could provide me with entertainment."

"No, that's after work." Maybe it was Pam's influence, but she said it with absolute seriousness. That just put one more pebble on the pull-over-and-fuck-Sookie-senseless side of the scale.

"I mean you could sit with me. We have to close at two, we'd be home by three."

"Meaning I'd be up until dawn. I wouldn't wake up until day businesses were closed for the night. I wouldn't be much good for your daytime position. And Philip wouldn't have much of a job."

"Well, then why don't you sit with me until twelve. We'll go home then, and then you'll only be up until three."

"Promise?" She had a mental image of being exhausted but satisfied every day.

"For you, dear heart, I'd promise the world." I meant it. I would give her anything and everything she could ever desire, let alone whatever she needed.

"Then, I'll work for you during the day, with you at Fangtasia, and on you at home." She leaned over the console and licked my neck before she bit gently on my ear. The scale tipped, I pulled over for the night.

On the second night back in Fangtasia, I had to administer justice to a vampire who had kidnapped a human child. The child was fed from but generally unharmed when found. I already knew the punishment before the offending vampire arrived. He would spend have his fangs removed, and then he would be wrapped in silver for thirty years. Sookie sat on the couch, wearing leather pants and a form fitting tube top. Her bright red fuck-me heels were the only part of the assembly she liked. We both agreed she looked better in her sundresses or jean cut off shorts, but it just looked too out of place for an employee. She had her jeans and a t-shirt on a hanger on the back of my door, waiting for her at midnight.

Pam and Thalia brought in the offending vampire, Lawrence, with his hands bound in silver. The child and the parents followed. The parents gave their testimonies, and Sookie silently confirmed everything they said. The boy pulled down the collar of his shirt; the fang marks were still evident on the little boy's shoulder, and I could feel Sookie's sympathy and aggression flare. I tried to sooth her, but she cut off the bond. I glared at her for a minute, she had an annoying habit of cutting off the bond without telling me. It was her way of running. But as the bond was also my way of trying to control her, I couldn't stay aggravated for too long. We were still at loggerheads with our most dominant personality traits.

Sookie's face remained stone cold throughout the meeting. The mother took the little boy from the room, when Pam and Thalia lowered Lawrence to his knees. I took a pair of pliers from my bottom drawer and a box in which I kept the fangs of those who defied me. It was just one of the many boxes I had.

"Lawrence, you said that you understood poaching in my area would be dealt with severely. Did you think that I had grown weak or lenient in my old age?"

I watched Lawrence shake his head. I wanted to send him to the floor with a smack across the face, but Sookie was there.

"Lawrence, you will answer your Sheriff, unless you want to be tortured before you receive your punishment," Sookie stated with absolute no emotion. I suppressed the need to bend her over the desk.

"No, Sheriff. I did not think you had grown lenient or weak." He spoke to the air by my head.

"You have lived in the area for five years. How many families have you separated?"

"I don't understand." He looked at me with the answer in his eyes. How I wished Sookie could read vampire minds at times.

I let my hand fly, and I heard the bone in his cheek crack. I felt Sookie's wince mentally. Her eyes stayed locked onto Lawrence, her face a mask of hard indifference. My heart broke. Her eyes met mine. She stood up and walked over to us.

"Get him back up on his knees." She ordered Pam and Thalia. Pam moved immediately, as if I had issued the order. Sookie placed a hand on each side of Lawrence's face. She placed a kiss on his forehead and said to him, "It was my presence that kept your torture at bay. It is your refusal to cooperate that forces me to leave. It is your Sheriff that will make you answer his questions. Enjoy your thirty years in silver." She turned back to me, grabbed my shirt and pulled me down to her. She kissed me hard and opened the bond to me so that I could not only smell her arousal, I could feel it wash over me. "Don't get your shirt dirty, I'd like to rip it off of you later, and I'll be very disappointed not to have that chance. I'll relieve Maxwell from the vermin." She winked at Pam as she left.

Thalia looked mildly impressed, Pam shot me an I-told-you-so look, and all I could say was, "God, I love that woman."

x-o-x-o-x

Pam PoV

I love it when things go according to plan.

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**A/N: Alright gang, I'm doing one more chapter. The epilogue: That's Why I Can't Stay. Happy Reading.**


	12. That's Why I Can't Stay

**That's Why I Can't Stay/Cause that's the only thing/That makes me feel this way**

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* * *

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One Year Later

Pam's PoV

Sookie was standing next to me when the news was announced on the television, and she grabbed my hand automatically. I could still hear Eric berating a young vampire for breaking rules of etiquette.

Sookie was annoyed, "They weren't supposed to announce it until tomorrow night."

I looked to Sookie, "Have you closed the bond?"

"I always do when he's playing the bad ass."

"Good. I'll take care of him. Have someone take your shift and wait for me in the car."

Sookie leaned up and kissed me on the cheek. She had Thalia take over for her. Thalia hated having to sit on "that damn, fucking Judas Chair." I loved when Sookie told Thalia to do something. Thalia actually respected Sookie, and so, she never did any of her complaining within Sookie's hearing. It was very amusing to see the great pit bull finally tamed.

I walked into the office. "Eric. Oh, that does look like fun." Eric had the young vampire hanging from his ankles in the corner of the office and was giving the mandatory number licks from the silver tongues (imagine a cat o' nine tails, but with silver chains).

"Why is Sookie out of the bar?" Eric had a tendency to get snippy when Sookie was out of his sight. Thankfully, it wasn't often that it happened.

"Sookie and I are going shopping. And you aren't invited. She hasn't been away from you in a year. She's earned a girl's night. And I might keep her for a slumber party, to which you are also not invited. Thalia is on the dais."  
I watched Eric as he tried to reach Sookie; his ears still lifted whenever he talked to her mentally. I laughed at his look of frustration, casually flicked his ear, and left him to finish his task.

I told Felicia to pass the word not to let Eric hear about the announcement from the news and then made my way out of the bar.

Sookie was bouncing on the balls of her feet by the door of my BMW Z4. "He's trying to get in, come on."

"I told him you deserve a girls' night, and you do. So he best stay away."

"How am I going to keep this from him?" Her face was torn between excitement and worry.

"I'll keep you out until dawn. We can have everything ready for tomorrow night."

"Thank-you!"

"Thank-you, Sookie. You've made Eric very happy. Not to mention, you've given me so much ammunition to work with. We'll use my private cards, he can't see the bills for those. And please, do give in a little with the price!"

"I've changed a lot about myself, but I will not give up my distaste for spending more money on clothes than I spend on groceries in a month."

"You feed just yourself, how much could you possibly spend on groceries? And I know that Eric takes you out at least twice a week."

"Shut -it." I smirked at her irritation. "I promise not to look at a price tag all night."

"Good girl. Then we can have some real fun, and you can get what you actually want. Now, on to the first stop." In all my years on this earth, I had never been as excited as I was about the plan to help Sookie in her little surprise for Eric.

Sookie PoV

I don't think I stopped smiling all night. Pam and I got everything done in just a few short hours. In the last year, just about every business had lengthened their hours; some even stayed open twenty-four hours.

An hour before dawn, I was sitting at Pam's house when I could feel Eric pushing hard against my shields. I gripped Pam's hand for support and dropped them long enough to give him the mental equivalent of a raspberry before I raised them. I closed him off from me, but I listened in for a minute.

When I told Pam that he was pouting about not getting any that night she laughed and responded with, "Well that's what he gets for not having sex with you earlier."

Hanging out with Pam for the last year had pretty much cured me of my tendency to blush, but when I remembered how I tried to seduce Eric in his office, I turned I began to burn. He had too much paperwork, and he told he would have to keep me past midnight if he didn't get it done. I appreciated that he was keeping his promise, but I had pouted at the time. After my blush finally faded, I laughed right along with Pam.

Pam went to her resting place for the day, and I tucked myself into one of her guest rooms. I laid in the cold empty bed with my hand extended over the space that Eric should have been occupying. I waited for him to fall asleep and then I set my alarm on my cell for four o'clock.

I was up by three, way too excited to sleep any longer. I checked my phone, and I received affirmatives from everyone that I had invited to Fangtasia for the night. I called Philip. He and Lucy came to pick me up, and I told him exactly what was going on. We drove to a shop to get them some dressier clothes, and I went to the few places I had to go to pick up the decorations. They were great, and I couldn't wait to see everything once it was up.

When we arrived at Fangtasia most of the wait staff was on hand to help set up. I was glad that no one was told what was going to happen until they were leaving from work last night. I was positive that if anyone other than those farthest away knew, the whole plan was going to blow up in my face. I was proud of myself for being able to keep the surprise from Eric for the last two weeks.

At an hour before sundown I left for home. I arrived with thirty minutes to spare, maybe I could get my make-up before Eric woke up. For the first time in a long time I hoped that Eric would keep his hands to himself. It was probably a worthless hope, but I was going to keep it.

When I felt him wake-up, his thoughts were heavy with lust. I had my make-up done and my hair in hot curlers. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer. Eric's laugh on the other side of the prayer caused me to open my eyes.

"Lover, if your anxious about what I'm about to do to you, I suggest you open the door of your own volition." Eric called out in a voice that was a mix of sweetness and sex.

"I'll open if you promise to keep off of me until later. I've made myself up, and I have plans that I refuse to let go of." I crossed my arms and actually stomped my foot.

"Sookie, let me in." This time he meant my head.

"Nyah, nyah. Big bad vampire can't get what he wants." I turned towards the mirror and started pulling the curlers out of my head.

I was interrupted by the door slamming open. I jumped at the noise. I looked up at his reflection in the mirror and put my hands on my hips. He stood where he was, eyes frozen on my body. I had on a cranberry push-up strapless bra and a matching thong. I glared at him for a moment and then continued with my hair.

"You look very nice, Sookie."

"If nice is the best compliment you can come up with, then might I suggest you take a look in the thesaurus. While you are at it, go put on the gray suit hanging in your closet. Not even your hissy fit will ruin my plans tonight. Now, go."

Eric looked amused for a moment and then disappeared. He was back in no time of course, gloating at me. He was fully dressed and his hair was pulled back in a braid. He looked good without any effort at all. "When do I get to find out about your plans?"

"When we get to Fangtasia."

"Why do we need to get dressed up to go there? I don't think I need to look good for the fangbangers."

"No, you need to look good for me."

"Well, then shouldn't I just go in the buff?"

"No, and do not touch me."

"Sookie -"

"Don't start pouting with me. You'll get some later, you should have put out last night. Just think of it was a test of endurance. Let's see how patient you really can be."

"You're evil."

"I was taught by the best in the arts of torture."

"You've never watched me torture anyone."

"Who said you were the best? I was talking about Pam."

I finished with my hair and went into my closet and pulled out a floor length cranberry-colored dress. I turned and asked Eric to zip my up. He grumbled until I turned around. The dress was strapless and the cut accented my cleavage without being slutty. Eric slowly traced his fingers down the sides of my breast and over my hips. I grabbed both of his hands and pulled him out of the house.

Eric PoV

As much as it aggravated me for her to keep me out, there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. She had to be the most annoying creature on the planet. It was amazing that Pam had been relegated to second in that category. I, at least, got to drive.

We arrived at Fangtasia, and I was shocked at the sign that stated the bar was closed for a private party. Why would Sookie have the bar closed? When I tried to ask her, she shushed me and looked smug. She was having a good time keeping me in the dark.

When she felt my irritation, Sookie turned to me with a serious look on her face. "I've made a lot of concessions for you over the past year. I do not regret a single one. Can you not let go of control just once? Can you not trust me to do something for you?" She had picked up my habit of dropping contractions when she was upset or serious.

"I apologize." I closed my eyes and took a deep calming breath I should not have needed to take. I felt the tiniest pressure on my mouth and opened my eyes to see Sookie smiling up at me.

"I forgive you. Now come on."

We walked in to Fangtasia hand in hand. As the door open a cheer met us. All of Sookie's human friends were there. Many vampires from the area were there. De Castro, Madden, and Sandy were there. Mississippi and Indiana were also there with their seconds.

I smiled at everyone, but I turned to Sookie questioning what exactly was going on.

"I thought it was about time I took control of this relationship. Today the State of Louisiana formerly recognizes marriages between Vampire and Human. And I am telling you that this is our wedding."

I picked her up in my arms and without messing up her hair or make-up kissed her. There was an annoying laugh from beside us.

"No, Eric. You have to wait until the end of the ceremony. Now come on, go up to the stage."

Pam pushed us forward and before God, witnesses, and the state we were married. Sookie was mine, in every conceivable way. What could I give her that equalled that? After the fifth dance, I closed down my side of the bond, excused myself from Sookie, and handed her off to her brother. I wrapped Pam up in my arms and squeezed her tightly.

"Ah, Master, your bride might get the wrong idea. Hugging another woman. You are hers, afterall."

"Yes, I am. I need you to do something for me."

"Whatever it is you need, I would do."

"Take over Area Five."

"What!"

"I'm giving it up. For her. She deserves me in whole. I will set you free and swear fealty to you. You just have to accept."

"But, I enjoy serving you."

"We will always be friends, Pam. Please?"

"Yes, my friend. Let us talk to the King."

The conversation with de Castro was thankfully short. Sookie kept herself entertained, but sent me a wave of growing aggravation several times. Once everything was set, I opened the bond and she gasped. Every vampire in the room turned to her in concern. Her eyes and mine met and she tore herself out of Sam's arms.

"You don't have to -" she started.

I stopped her words with a kiss, not caring what I messed up. "Yes. You have given me you, and I now I will give you me. We are equals. I love you. Nothing, no one, has ever made me feel this way. I remember living in your home, having no power other than the ability to make you happy. I want to live that way for a very long time. I want just you, for as long as I can have you."

She smiled up at me with the threat of tears in her eyes, "You have me."

"As you have me."

I pulled her up on to the stage and announced my retirement.

**

* * *

And they lived equally ever after. Well, that's it folks. Hope you enjoyed the work. For those interested, now that this piece is complete I will be starting the sequel to my Life After Dark. I'm pretty sure I'll call in Second Life in Dallas. Happy Reading.**


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